Well today i was officially voted on and welcomed as the new youth pastor at Huntington Beach Baptist Church.
i had the first youth group with me having that position, and it was pretty legit... and everyone had a large desire for chinese food afterwards.
i got home and a song came up on my itunes that speaks into what im experiencing perfectly...
it's called "should i tell them" by Shawn Groves.
Walking with you is not without hazards
Trippings this traveler's curse
Price paid for falling is more than my stumble
In a world that is watching and waiting for words
But I listened when You said to go
And I set out in spite of my fears
About truth mixed with my imperfection
And the question of what to say when I got here
And now that I'm here
Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?
Now don't get me wrong
I'm thankful to be here
With this song to sing and a spotlight on me,
But lately I'm wondering if you are mistaken,
If you're seeing all of me there is to see.
Cause on every face I detect
The same questions I've posed to you
Like do you speak through the imperfect
Are we too dirty for your light to get through?
I want your light to get through.
What should I tell them when
They're thirsty Lord
My cup is empty Lord
Come and lead me here in this place
Cuz I'm honest, yeah, but I'm unprepared
And I'm just plain afraid...
Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?
this is what im feeling.
i'm often wondering, looking up at God and wondering if he really knows me and who i am... if he really knows who I am, because if he did... would he really be sending me to do this? i mean... who am I? why me? what did i do deserve this?
a dear friend kindly reminded me that there may be better experienced people out there, but they are not HERE... and God does not overlook anything or put people in positions that he doesn't intends to use them in... and i am willing to be here, but i don't know if i can do it right... "what shoudl i tell them? what if i'm failing them..."
here i am, this is me... and i know that i am nothing... which is why i know this is a God thing... because this would have never happened unless he had ordained it.
Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
why?
It's funny to think that in some times in our lives we get the feeling that life would be so much better if we were in a play. if our lives were scripted. if all we ever had to do was play the part written for us, for that small amount of time, then walk off stage, shake it off and go out for dinner with our friends. It almost always surprises me that Life is often stranger than fiction.
I heard a quote once, "...because take a look around. why would sanity make sense?"
How often our worlds end up flipped upside down and all we can think about is the desire within us to right it, to put it back the way it was, or to turn it into the way it was supposed to be. and when we fail at that endeavor, we cringe and fall under the immense weight of despair and hopelessness.
why is there hurting in the world?
One of my professors taught a new testament survey class once, and one day he walked into class in a robe and phylacteries in order to role-play a Jewish rabbi. he told stories and took questions about his faith (as the rabbi) and expressed in great detail the wonder of being a Jew.
One student brought up the Holocaust, and asked him of his views on that.
"the holocaust was a very horrible time for my people, and we endured many things and lost many things through that time... what a terrible time for us, terrible...terrible..." he explained.
One of his students decided to challenge the professor and said "I believe that the holocaust was a good thing because, in spite of the killing, it deepened you faith and made it more real".
a good thing?
At that moment, the Professor looked away from the boy, to the top left corner of the auditorium, where a young girl, just out of high school, sat... tears welling up in her eyes.
The professor was the only one in the room who knew this girls story.
She had had a baby at the age of 15, and Social Services had come and taken the baby out of her home because no one in the home was fit to raise the child.
This girl had come to College to get a degree,in hopes that one day she would be able to care for her baby again.
Just before class, the girl had recieved a phone call from the baby's socail worker who told her that early that morning that baby had been beaten by a medical worker and had died the hour before.
now, with this ignorant student in the front row proclaiming that it is good for these things to happen, because they deepen our faith, she was un-able to move. he breath had gone short and her bottom lip was quivering in a feeble attempt to keep the tears welling up in her eyes from running down her face.
why do bad things happen?
why do we live in a world so broken, and why the hell are there so FEW PEOPLE out there trying to fix it?
We as people hate noticing things that need to be fixed. we hate going to a shrink because we think we have it all together, we hate having an intimate relationship with God because we might feel inadequate and broken, we even sometimes hate getting into a relationship with some one else because that person might end up leaving us and we would feel that same sting of guilt.
we hate seeing a homeless person on the street, and when we do we look straight ahead, afraid that if we look at him, we will have that FEELING again.
we hate feeling our own depravity, so we walk around with a facade of care and a true sense of apathy toward the world around us.
my question is this: why, if there is pain in the world, are so few people trying to take it away?
why?
"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." -Jesus
I heard a quote once, "...because take a look around. why would sanity make sense?"
How often our worlds end up flipped upside down and all we can think about is the desire within us to right it, to put it back the way it was, or to turn it into the way it was supposed to be. and when we fail at that endeavor, we cringe and fall under the immense weight of despair and hopelessness.
why is there hurting in the world?
One of my professors taught a new testament survey class once, and one day he walked into class in a robe and phylacteries in order to role-play a Jewish rabbi. he told stories and took questions about his faith (as the rabbi) and expressed in great detail the wonder of being a Jew.
One student brought up the Holocaust, and asked him of his views on that.
"the holocaust was a very horrible time for my people, and we endured many things and lost many things through that time... what a terrible time for us, terrible...terrible..." he explained.
One of his students decided to challenge the professor and said "I believe that the holocaust was a good thing because, in spite of the killing, it deepened you faith and made it more real".
a good thing?
At that moment, the Professor looked away from the boy, to the top left corner of the auditorium, where a young girl, just out of high school, sat... tears welling up in her eyes.
The professor was the only one in the room who knew this girls story.
She had had a baby at the age of 15, and Social Services had come and taken the baby out of her home because no one in the home was fit to raise the child.
This girl had come to College to get a degree,in hopes that one day she would be able to care for her baby again.
Just before class, the girl had recieved a phone call from the baby's socail worker who told her that early that morning that baby had been beaten by a medical worker and had died the hour before.
now, with this ignorant student in the front row proclaiming that it is good for these things to happen, because they deepen our faith, she was un-able to move. he breath had gone short and her bottom lip was quivering in a feeble attempt to keep the tears welling up in her eyes from running down her face.
why do bad things happen?
why do we live in a world so broken, and why the hell are there so FEW PEOPLE out there trying to fix it?
We as people hate noticing things that need to be fixed. we hate going to a shrink because we think we have it all together, we hate having an intimate relationship with God because we might feel inadequate and broken, we even sometimes hate getting into a relationship with some one else because that person might end up leaving us and we would feel that same sting of guilt.
we hate seeing a homeless person on the street, and when we do we look straight ahead, afraid that if we look at him, we will have that FEELING again.
we hate feeling our own depravity, so we walk around with a facade of care and a true sense of apathy toward the world around us.
my question is this: why, if there is pain in the world, are so few people trying to take it away?
why?
"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." -Jesus
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
the fun of the campaign... wow!
I really like mcCain... but this scares me a little bit... and makes me laugh at the same time... can you say "appealing to the crowd?"
Sunday, September 21, 2008
no subject necessary...
i don't know who told people i was strong enough to handle this... but im not.
i promise.
i promise.
new PICTURE GALLERY
so.... i have a new photo gallery... check it out!
http://gallery.mac.com/jquale
YAY!!!
http://gallery.mac.com/jquale
YAY!!!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
still amazing me...
"Your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day.
Entrance is crucial and its not without pain.
Theres no path to follow, once youre here.
Youll climb up the slide and then youll slide down the stairs.
It's foreign on this side,
But it feels like I'm home again.
There's no place to hide
But I don't think I'm scared"
-This Side, by Nickel Creek
Joy. and brilliance
both, included.
Entrance is crucial and its not without pain.
Theres no path to follow, once youre here.
Youll climb up the slide and then youll slide down the stairs.
It's foreign on this side,
But it feels like I'm home again.
There's no place to hide
But I don't think I'm scared"
-This Side, by Nickel Creek
Joy. and brilliance
both, included.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
thoughts of a tired soul...
This has been a rough weekend... a long nights day. :)
today, though, i found comfort in this story:
A young jewish man goes to his rabbi and says to him
"Rabbi, why is it that the law says that the the word is to be written on out heart, not within our heart?"
and the rabbi said "so that, when your heart breaks, the words will fall inside."
I have also found that Nickel Creek has a way of speaking to me in ways i never thought possible: "its foreign on this side, and the truth is a bitter friend."
love all, worship one.
-Josh
p.s. for all of you, "a true friend rides in your car, no matter how many times you have almost killed them".
meditate on this. :D
today, though, i found comfort in this story:
A young jewish man goes to his rabbi and says to him
"Rabbi, why is it that the law says that the the word is to be written on out heart, not within our heart?"
and the rabbi said "so that, when your heart breaks, the words will fall inside."
I have also found that Nickel Creek has a way of speaking to me in ways i never thought possible: "its foreign on this side, and the truth is a bitter friend."
love all, worship one.
-Josh
p.s. for all of you, "a true friend rides in your car, no matter how many times you have almost killed them".
meditate on this. :D
Thursday, September 04, 2008
ministries collide!
so... this weekend I am leading worship at Community with the guys again... can't wait for that, YAY!!
then sunday ngiht, its my first day as the Director of youth Ministries at Huntington Beach Baptist Church... Please pray for me, and for the students... for their sake. :x
and then on tuesday night, we're kicking off another new ministry im spearheading right now called "The Losers Club: Chillin with the least of these"... im really stoked about this!
heres the info, so if you are in the area of Vanguard University, please stop by!
Please keep me in prayer this year, that i may always remember to keep my hand help on to God alone, "blooming where i stand". (thanks qwest)
God is good, All the time.
love ya guys,
-Josh
then sunday ngiht, its my first day as the Director of youth Ministries at Huntington Beach Baptist Church... Please pray for me, and for the students... for their sake. :x
and then on tuesday night, we're kicking off another new ministry im spearheading right now called "The Losers Club: Chillin with the least of these"... im really stoked about this!
heres the info, so if you are in the area of Vanguard University, please stop by!
Please keep me in prayer this year, that i may always remember to keep my hand help on to God alone, "blooming where i stand". (thanks qwest)
God is good, All the time.
love ya guys,
-Josh
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