thoughts on the kingdom...

Sitting in the cove before class, I'm overhearing a conversation between people talking about conviction of sin and it sounds like they're talking as if conviction of sin and fixing what they're doing wrong is their main goal, the end result is perfection... but i cant help but wonder, Is our main goal as Christians to be perfect and good, or to be impactful followers? or both? Is there a difference? what would it look like if we really tried to imitate the Jesus of the gospels? would we be concerned more with the youth group kids cussing, or with the homeless person living in the church dumpster? is it possible to do both perfect and impactful?

"We're being good to show other people how good we are... and Jesus is calling you to be dangerous." -Mark Moore

"Jesus came to establish a kingdom, and all we gave him was a church". -Hans Kung

Taxes are complicated…

So, tell them in terms they might understand, like beer drinking.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. ’Since you are all such good customers, he said, ‘I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.

Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

‘I only got a dollar out of the $20,’declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,’ but he got $10!’
‘Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man. ‘I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!’
‘That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!’
‘Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison. ‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine
sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may
not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

really wanted to write something interesting...

but instead, How to give a cat a pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat
vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while
swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers
and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill:

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

from bits&pieces

$100 in ones for the garage sale. The lady counted to 99, realized she miscounted and had 2 recount.

Josh
 
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4th floor guys and gals at Resrally playing epic rock paper scissors.

Josh
 
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Sat down and don't want to get up... Oh well, I was warned:

Josh
 
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Stuff i find...

Just walkin the Dog...

... THEY'RE...

do you like butt meat?

Reading "Ignore Everybody" by Hugh Macleod. This made me smile.

Josh
 
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Hoola-hoop diving at the Summer Refresh poolparty. What a great way to end the retreat!

Josh
 
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Starting Sunday morning encounter off with some Sunday school worship- Jesus the Soccer Star!

Josh
 
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Darin Mcwatters rockin Session one of Summer Refresh! Living in light of the end!

Josh
 
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Stuff i find...

[click to enlarge]

Students building a sand village on the beach!

Josh
 
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my updated and *final* class list for fall 09

   8:30am classes 4 days a week. i feel crazy. 

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hope for the struggling musician...

You can play music on your phone by pressing the buttons on the top (1,2,3)…and along the side (6,9,#). But don’t play the 4,5,7,8,*, or 0. They sound even worse than the others.

Happy Birthday
112163
112196
11#9632
969363

Auld Lang Syne
11113212
321139#
#9331212
321##91

Frere Jacques
12311231
369369
9#9631,9#9631
191,191

Mary Had a Little Lamb
3212333
222,399
3212333
322321

Louie, Louie
111-66-999-66

Help
911
911
911
911

from BITS AND PIECES