this actually horrified me.
not gonna lie.
yay for invasion of privacy!
-Josh
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
'cause a small town is a small stage for teenagers and their drama....
my life the past few days could definately make the context for a pretty dang good daytime soap opera.
its wierd, but i kinda feel like my life is heading in a certain direction and i have no way to make it change course, and no way of knowing where i am going, and this innate fear welling up inside of me consisting of primarily a fear of losing control.
i found a quote from a movie that i thought was appropriate. a woman comes out of a hospital crying, and is greeted by Elder Aaron Davis, a mormon missionary, ad they start a conversation. mid-way through, Aaron finds himself at a loss, and begins the following:
Elder Aaron Davis: Do you ever read the Sunday comics?
Lila: [confused] I beg your pardon?
[changes her mind]
Lila: Yes, of course the Sunday comics.
Elder Aaron Davis: Well, when I was a little kid, I use to put my nose right up to them. And I was just amazed because it looked like this mass of dots, and none of it made sense until I pulled back. Life looks like that mass of dots to me sometimes. None of it makes any sense, but I like to think that, from God's perspective, life, everything - even this - make sense. It's not just dots. Instead we're all connected, and it's beautiful and funny and good. This close we can't expect it to make sense, not right now.
this is an AMAZING quote... i cant even tell you.
so right now, im simply hoping that life realy is more than a bid mass of dots, cause for a few minutes, it starts to feel that way.
Grace and peace! and Happy New Year!
-Josh
its wierd, but i kinda feel like my life is heading in a certain direction and i have no way to make it change course, and no way of knowing where i am going, and this innate fear welling up inside of me consisting of primarily a fear of losing control.
i found a quote from a movie that i thought was appropriate. a woman comes out of a hospital crying, and is greeted by Elder Aaron Davis, a mormon missionary, ad they start a conversation. mid-way through, Aaron finds himself at a loss, and begins the following:
Elder Aaron Davis: Do you ever read the Sunday comics?
Lila: [confused] I beg your pardon?
[changes her mind]
Lila: Yes, of course the Sunday comics.
Elder Aaron Davis: Well, when I was a little kid, I use to put my nose right up to them. And I was just amazed because it looked like this mass of dots, and none of it made sense until I pulled back. Life looks like that mass of dots to me sometimes. None of it makes any sense, but I like to think that, from God's perspective, life, everything - even this - make sense. It's not just dots. Instead we're all connected, and it's beautiful and funny and good. This close we can't expect it to make sense, not right now.
this is an AMAZING quote... i cant even tell you.
so right now, im simply hoping that life realy is more than a bid mass of dots, cause for a few minutes, it starts to feel that way.
Grace and peace! and Happy New Year!
-Josh
Friday, December 26, 2008
a repost of an important request:
ok, so i dont usually do this (i.e. repost other peoples blogs) but i thought that this was incredibly important and moving.
within the context of my day-today life, i come across a lot of people who struggle with the issue of homosexuality and sexual identity. many of these people also struggle with depression that realates to it. i came accross a blog about this that hit pretty hard, and i thought i would share it.
The following is NOT my work, and remains the property of the author.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Christmas suicide.
December 25, 2008 |
While you are exchanging gifts today and celebrating the festivities, remember this: Today, like every day, 4 gay or lesbian youth will commit suicide.
Statistical estimations by the U.S. Health and Human Services show that 1,488 gay or lesbian youth will kill themselves in the new year. Moreover, 30% of gay or lesbian youth have contemplated suicide.
If there is one thing that pushes my heart to the breaking point, it is knowing that someone feels so alone or so scared or in so much pain that they take their own life. In a world so full of love and light, it hurts knowing that their are people in such darkness.
Today, I’d like to share a suicide note with you. It is a real note. It was written by a 16-year old high school student named Steven. He overdosed on medication. I’ve shortned the note for purposes of reproduction, but the grammer and spelling have been left intact. Here is Steven’s suicide note:
I am sorry to the people that I love but I cant fucking take it anymore. So I am gay. Why dooes everyone hate me becaus of that. Fuck them. I have been punched and spit on andcalled faggot, queer, loser, pussy, fag boy. Some asshole painted faggot on my locker. Some people do not talk to me. Fuck them, fuck everyone, I hate this fucking life know. I am so fucking tired of the shit. I hve receved hate letters telling me to leave school telling me that faggots aren’t welcome and that I am a fag.
I have wanted to be dead for so long. I don’t really know how I made it as far as thisbecase i jujst think about being dead. I am never happy. Why did so many people lie to me. I wish I never told anyone I am gay.why the fuck did I do that.
I love you mom and dad.because even though you did not undertand maybe you loved me and said I was fine and you would help me.but at school it was like being in hell. Iwas burning in hell eery day. I dould not tell you edeverythin thatwas happening. I did not want you to worryaboyut me. I coulnd not do that do you. I hope that youwill forgive me.plese forgive me. And rememberme when I was happy. And I am not a faggot I am a person that is all. Why was I a gay though, why me, why whey why why I always ask. I will never know. God must have wanted me to be with him now because he is tlling me to kill myself. I think that anywayse. And I know I need to commit suicide soon. But you need to know why. Don’t be sad. You wont have a faggot son anymore.
I need towrite a poem
i will name iti am not a fag
I am not a fag
You are the fags
Remember that
I am a person
You say faggot faggot queer queer but you don’t know anyting
I know that you are stupid assholes and that is more than you know
What is heavenreally like mom and dad. I hope it is all that not here. And don’t be sad because you will be with meagaoin. I know I know.
I am getting happier now. I am becauseit is all ending now. I want you to know that I feel good now. I think I feel really good now , yes I do. I am not crying anymore and I am rfeeling happy. I think I will be happy in heaven no longer a faggot just a person. The real faggots are tthem
I have to say goodbye now so don’t be sad. Please never be sad. I am happy. I am really happy now. Everying will be fine I am happeire that I have ever been because it is all over.
Goodbye I love you mom and dad but I hate almost everyone else. Don’t be sad.
I am happy now.
Steven survived. He was hospitalized and treated. He moved with his family to another state. Steven was lucky. But today, 4 people won’t be.
Perhaps, this Christmas, you’ll make a donation to The Trevor Project (by clicking the orange donate button on the top of the right-hand sidebar) so that they can continue to operate the nation’s only 24-hour suicide prevention helpline for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. And please, if you are considering suicide, call 1-866-4-U-TREVOR.
All of us can do something to light the darkness.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and yours.
Copyright © 2008 break the illusion www.breaktheillusion.com
---------------------------
I believe that hope is to be inspired in people, no matter what.
we, as the Church specifically, and as the majority of Americans, hav done a pretty bad job of offering hope to people who need it. today, think about people you know that need help - whether its a hug or an hour of your time, try to be hope for someone.
please.
their life may depend on it.
Love all. worship one.
-Josh
within the context of my day-today life, i come across a lot of people who struggle with the issue of homosexuality and sexual identity. many of these people also struggle with depression that realates to it. i came accross a blog about this that hit pretty hard, and i thought i would share it.
The following is NOT my work, and remains the property of the author.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Christmas suicide.
December 25, 2008 |
While you are exchanging gifts today and celebrating the festivities, remember this: Today, like every day, 4 gay or lesbian youth will commit suicide.
Statistical estimations by the U.S. Health and Human Services show that 1,488 gay or lesbian youth will kill themselves in the new year. Moreover, 30% of gay or lesbian youth have contemplated suicide.
If there is one thing that pushes my heart to the breaking point, it is knowing that someone feels so alone or so scared or in so much pain that they take their own life. In a world so full of love and light, it hurts knowing that their are people in such darkness.
Today, I’d like to share a suicide note with you. It is a real note. It was written by a 16-year old high school student named Steven. He overdosed on medication. I’ve shortned the note for purposes of reproduction, but the grammer and spelling have been left intact. Here is Steven’s suicide note:
I am sorry to the people that I love but I cant fucking take it anymore. So I am gay. Why dooes everyone hate me becaus of that. Fuck them. I have been punched and spit on andcalled faggot, queer, loser, pussy, fag boy. Some asshole painted faggot on my locker. Some people do not talk to me. Fuck them, fuck everyone, I hate this fucking life know. I am so fucking tired of the shit. I hve receved hate letters telling me to leave school telling me that faggots aren’t welcome and that I am a fag.
I have wanted to be dead for so long. I don’t really know how I made it as far as thisbecase i jujst think about being dead. I am never happy. Why did so many people lie to me. I wish I never told anyone I am gay.why the fuck did I do that.
I love you mom and dad.because even though you did not undertand maybe you loved me and said I was fine and you would help me.but at school it was like being in hell. Iwas burning in hell eery day. I dould not tell you edeverythin thatwas happening. I did not want you to worryaboyut me. I coulnd not do that do you. I hope that youwill forgive me.plese forgive me. And rememberme when I was happy. And I am not a faggot I am a person that is all. Why was I a gay though, why me, why whey why why I always ask. I will never know. God must have wanted me to be with him now because he is tlling me to kill myself. I think that anywayse. And I know I need to commit suicide soon. But you need to know why. Don’t be sad. You wont have a faggot son anymore.
I need towrite a poem
i will name iti am not a fag
I am not a fag
You are the fags
Remember that
I am a person
You say faggot faggot queer queer but you don’t know anyting
I know that you are stupid assholes and that is more than you know
What is heavenreally like mom and dad. I hope it is all that not here. And don’t be sad because you will be with meagaoin. I know I know.
I am getting happier now. I am becauseit is all ending now. I want you to know that I feel good now. I think I feel really good now , yes I do. I am not crying anymore and I am rfeeling happy. I think I will be happy in heaven no longer a faggot just a person. The real faggots are tthem
I have to say goodbye now so don’t be sad. Please never be sad. I am happy. I am really happy now. Everying will be fine I am happeire that I have ever been because it is all over.
Goodbye I love you mom and dad but I hate almost everyone else. Don’t be sad.
I am happy now.
Steven survived. He was hospitalized and treated. He moved with his family to another state. Steven was lucky. But today, 4 people won’t be.
Perhaps, this Christmas, you’ll make a donation to The Trevor Project (by clicking the orange donate button on the top of the right-hand sidebar) so that they can continue to operate the nation’s only 24-hour suicide prevention helpline for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. And please, if you are considering suicide, call 1-866-4-U-TREVOR.
All of us can do something to light the darkness.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and yours.
Copyright © 2008 break the illusion www.breaktheillusion.com
---------------------------
I believe that hope is to be inspired in people, no matter what.
we, as the Church specifically, and as the majority of Americans, hav done a pretty bad job of offering hope to people who need it. today, think about people you know that need help - whether its a hug or an hour of your time, try to be hope for someone.
please.
their life may depend on it.
Love all. worship one.
-Josh
someone stole my idea!
haha... how great is that?
if only i would have copyrighted it.
dang.
from FFFFOUND!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
The things You Learn On YouTube: PART 2- How to run the Naked Mile
what does it take to be a first-rate naked-miler?
i found out.
i found out.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
thing ive learned #2- how to deter a telemarketer
i saw this and thought it was worth posting.
how to deter a telemarketer.
http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/
merry christmas
-Josh
how to deter a telemarketer.
http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/
merry christmas
-Josh
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"Gems" found in photo's by Gary Barnes
A friend of mine is an EXCELLENT amateur Photographer, among MANY other talents. here is a few GREAT pictures from his Black and White album.
Taken during a Candlelight Equality Vigil in Oceanside, California on the pier. Hosted by the North County LGBT Coalition. Shot on a Pentax K10D with a f1.4 50mm prime lens, edited in Adobe Lightroom 2 and Nik Silver Efex Pro.
Photo of the Harris Fire in San Diego county as it burned south of Mt. Helix. Taken with an Olympus XA rangefinder camera. Film processed in Diafine.
AIDS Walk 2007
For a look at more of what Gary does, check out HERE
peace be to you for christmas!
A Savior is born to us, a people in desperate need of saving.
-Josh
Taken during a Candlelight Equality Vigil in Oceanside, California on the pier. Hosted by the North County LGBT Coalition. Shot on a Pentax K10D with a f1.4 50mm prime lens, edited in Adobe Lightroom 2 and Nik Silver Efex Pro.
Photo of the Harris Fire in San Diego county as it burned south of Mt. Helix. Taken with an Olympus XA rangefinder camera. Film processed in Diafine.
AIDS Walk 2007
For a look at more of what Gary does, check out HERE
peace be to you for christmas!
A Savior is born to us, a people in desperate need of saving.
-Josh
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Things You Learn On YouTube: PART 1- How To Beat Your Wife
wife/animal beating- the things you learn.
:)
wow.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
dramatic reading...
ok, ok... just saw this and thought i was going to crap my pants i laughed so hard. a dramatic reading of an actual breakup letter.
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
SOO GOOOD!!!
thanks to darin mcWatters for findin that one!
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
SOO GOOOD!!!
thanks to darin mcWatters for findin that one!
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