Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
logic at its best
DISCOVERY
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.
from fffound.com
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.
from fffound.com
an ex-presidential joke...
this is amazingly awesome.
bush's joke is good, clintons response is GREAT!
bush's joke is good, clintons response is GREAT!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Students say the darndest things...
Sitting In awanas, discussing forgivness.
TEACHER: Have ever had to forgive someone once? Twice? Eight times? Have you ever had to forgive someone so much you just get tired of it?
STUDENT: [immediately] every Tuesday.
TEACHER: Have ever had to forgive someone once? Twice? Eight times? Have you ever had to forgive someone so much you just get tired of it?
STUDENT: [immediately] every Tuesday.
a moment with Thomas Merton
“If you want to identify me,
ask me not where I live
or what I like to eat
or how I comb my hair,
but ask me what I am living for –
in detail –
and ask me what I think is keeping me
from living wholly for the things I want to live for.”
~ Thomas Merton
“THOUGHTS IN SOLITUDE”
by Thomas Merton
My Lord, God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself; and,
The fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You
does, in fact, please You.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And, I know that if I do, You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, will I trust You always –
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me; and,
You will never leave me to face my perils alone.
"Let there always be quiet, dark churches in which people can
take refuge....Houses of God filled with his silent presence. There,
even when they do not know how to pray, at least they
can be still and breathe easily. -Thomas Merton, (New Seeds of Contemplation)
ask me not where I live
or what I like to eat
or how I comb my hair,
but ask me what I am living for –
in detail –
and ask me what I think is keeping me
from living wholly for the things I want to live for.”
~ Thomas Merton
“THOUGHTS IN SOLITUDE”
by Thomas Merton
My Lord, God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself; and,
The fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You
does, in fact, please You.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And, I know that if I do, You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, will I trust You always –
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me; and,
You will never leave me to face my perils alone.
"Let there always be quiet, dark churches in which people can
take refuge....Houses of God filled with his silent presence. There,
even when they do not know how to pray, at least they
can be still and breathe easily. -Thomas Merton, (New Seeds of Contemplation)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
getting a handle on this Jesus guy
sititng in Life of jesus- thinking that the person of Jesus is far more intricate and hard to get a handle on than i once thought.
working with the name of Jesus is very different, i have seen, than working with the MAN of jesus.
i have heard a quote from thomas Howard that i think sums up what i feeling:
In the figure of Jesus the Christ there is something that escapes us. He has been the subject of the greatest
efforts at systemization in the history of man, but anyone who has ever tried this has had, in the end, to admit
that the seams keep bursting. He sooner or later discovers that he is in touch, not with a pale Galilean,
but with a towering and furious figure who will not be managed.
-- Thomas Howard
the amazement of this guy just astounds me.
and the knowledge that i will never fully be able to contain Him only wets my appatite for Him and raises my ability ot trust in Him.
"is he safe?"
"Safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
working with the name of Jesus is very different, i have seen, than working with the MAN of jesus.
i have heard a quote from thomas Howard that i think sums up what i feeling:
In the figure of Jesus the Christ there is something that escapes us. He has been the subject of the greatest
efforts at systemization in the history of man, but anyone who has ever tried this has had, in the end, to admit
that the seams keep bursting. He sooner or later discovers that he is in touch, not with a pale Galilean,
but with a towering and furious figure who will not be managed.
-- Thomas Howard
the amazement of this guy just astounds me.
and the knowledge that i will never fully be able to contain Him only wets my appatite for Him and raises my ability ot trust in Him.
"is he safe?"
"Safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
Monday, January 26, 2009
had to repost- BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE EXCHANGE EVER!
Below is a quoted exchange from notalwaysright.com/
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
----------------------------------
A woman who had gone through my line earlier that day came up to me.)
Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”
Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”
Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”
Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”
Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*
Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”
Customer: “I drove here, of course!”
Me: “With your car keys?”
Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”
Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”
Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”
(I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)
Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”
Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”
Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”
(My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)
Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”
Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*
-------------------------
HAPPY MONDAY everyone!
-Josh
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
----------------------------------
A woman who had gone through my line earlier that day came up to me.)
Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”
Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”
Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”
Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”
Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*
Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”
Customer: “I drove here, of course!”
Me: “With your car keys?”
Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”
Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”
Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”
(I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)
Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”
Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”
Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”
(My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)
Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”
Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*
-------------------------
HAPPY MONDAY everyone!
-Josh
Saturday, January 24, 2009
SO FUNNY!!!
http://www.freakybestmanspeech.com/
check it out- but you MUST MUST MUST watch till the end!
so great!
-Q
check it out- but you MUST MUST MUST watch till the end!
so great!
-Q
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Winter Retreat: day 1-
Winter Retreat
Day 1
Theme: This is me.
The night went really really well... i think the kids got the main idea behind the night, and they are really understanding what this retreat is about. Im SO PROUD of all of my leaders that im working with! they are so great at what they are doing, and I am so blessed to be working with such a GREAT CHURCH.
Jesus is totally all over this retreat, and seeing the students light up when they start to meet him is amazing.
now... im tired, and have put out more fires than i wanted to, and am enjoying the quietness of the moment. the scavenger hunt went across AWESOME, the first session went really really well (Devin was awesome, the kids i think Got the main idea of the message), the guys did a good job cooking the girls food. (nobody died... yet) and they are all asleep.
not a bad day in the YM neighborhood, if i do say so myself.
and now... ahh... whats that i hear? silence? aaaahhhhhh.... so soothing.
well, im getting tired, and the kids are asleep... and i have to be up in 4 hours.
some call this insanity (ive already been accused of being on SOME kind of drug... "you gotta be on something to voluntarily WANT to do this!") but in all honesty, i look at it as an amazing opportunity to do what i love to do:
love on teenagers.
i still woke up today and thought to myself: "you are getting paid for this??"
i have said it before, and ill say it again:
I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!
love all, worship one.
-Josh
Day 1
Theme: This is me.
The night went really really well... i think the kids got the main idea behind the night, and they are really understanding what this retreat is about. Im SO PROUD of all of my leaders that im working with! they are so great at what they are doing, and I am so blessed to be working with such a GREAT CHURCH.
Jesus is totally all over this retreat, and seeing the students light up when they start to meet him is amazing.
now... im tired, and have put out more fires than i wanted to, and am enjoying the quietness of the moment. the scavenger hunt went across AWESOME, the first session went really really well (Devin was awesome, the kids i think Got the main idea of the message), the guys did a good job cooking the girls food. (nobody died... yet) and they are all asleep.
not a bad day in the YM neighborhood, if i do say so myself.
and now... ahh... whats that i hear? silence? aaaahhhhhh.... so soothing.
well, im getting tired, and the kids are asleep... and i have to be up in 4 hours.
some call this insanity (ive already been accused of being on SOME kind of drug... "you gotta be on something to voluntarily WANT to do this!") but in all honesty, i look at it as an amazing opportunity to do what i love to do:
love on teenagers.
i still woke up today and thought to myself: "you are getting paid for this??"
i have said it before, and ill say it again:
I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!
love all, worship one.
-Josh
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
haha
i was about to go to bed, and i saw this:
LMAO!!!
anywho- goodnight all
or, should i say,
goodmorning.
-Josh
LMAO!!!
anywho- goodnight all
or, should i say,
goodmorning.
-Josh
Monday, January 12, 2009
looking at the back (or is it the front)
its funny how, as life unfolds, you end up looking at something, and wondering what hte heck it really is... if anything.
ok, so that might have been fairly ambiguous and illogical, but imagine you walk up to a store that you have been going to for a long time... you come up to the door, and for the first time you notice a small blue sign just to the left of the enterence:
the sense that you feel at that moment is what i am feeling.
what if everything in life that i have been looking at has been done the "wrong way"?
...
what if thats why i see things differently?
when everyone else is looking at the front, im looking at the back and thinking of it as something wholly different than what it was designed to be...
a ball becomes a chair
a CD becomes a wall-ornament
a box of kleenex becomes a portal into another world.
the possibilities are endless, and what is more- unbelievably interesting and quite often profound.
"If they give you lined paper, write the other way"
-Juan Luis Jimenez
ok, so that might have been fairly ambiguous and illogical, but imagine you walk up to a store that you have been going to for a long time... you come up to the door, and for the first time you notice a small blue sign just to the left of the enterence:
the sense that you feel at that moment is what i am feeling.
what if everything in life that i have been looking at has been done the "wrong way"?
...
what if thats why i see things differently?
when everyone else is looking at the front, im looking at the back and thinking of it as something wholly different than what it was designed to be...
a ball becomes a chair
a CD becomes a wall-ornament
a box of kleenex becomes a portal into another world.
the possibilities are endless, and what is more- unbelievably interesting and quite often profound.
"If they give you lined paper, write the other way"
-Juan Luis Jimenez
Saturday, January 10, 2009
life... gone crazy....
its funny how a small bit of information can completely and utterly ruin or change an entire day.
isnt it?
Scenerio:
its a great, bright, not too hot, not too cold, breezy, but not too breezy, day.
you are driving, but not too far, and there are other people around, but not too many people.
life is good, but not TOO good, and you are smiling.
and then something like THIS happens to you:
and your day is GONE!
...
i found out that i will not be having a room to myslf today, and on top of that, i know the person and im pretty sure me and him wont jive.
weird, huh?
i was told that this year was going to be an INCREDIBLE year, and that God was going ot do some crazy, UNEXPECTED things in my life.
but, the person who told me this said, i would have to choose to live into God's plan.
hmmm.....
i've never been one to stand up to things. I tend to be different in a lot of things i do, sure, but most of the time it is in a general anti-conformist attitude. but, standing straight up to someone or soemthing has never been my forte.
when and if i have done it in the past, it generally ends up with me having some HUGELY over-romanticized version of what will happen play in my head, and then i try to emmulate said vision and i stumble over my words or say them so incredibly fast (to add a sense of vigor behind what i am saying) and in the process of trying to be overly-profound i end up becoming wholly incomprehensible, thus making the life-altering moment i was trying to create completely moot.
so, heres to trying to get out of my own way to live the Life that God has for me.
God help us all.
love you guys,
-Josh
isnt it?
Scenerio:
its a great, bright, not too hot, not too cold, breezy, but not too breezy, day.
you are driving, but not too far, and there are other people around, but not too many people.
life is good, but not TOO good, and you are smiling.
and then something like THIS happens to you:
and your day is GONE!
...
i found out that i will not be having a room to myslf today, and on top of that, i know the person and im pretty sure me and him wont jive.
weird, huh?
i was told that this year was going to be an INCREDIBLE year, and that God was going ot do some crazy, UNEXPECTED things in my life.
but, the person who told me this said, i would have to choose to live into God's plan.
hmmm.....
i've never been one to stand up to things. I tend to be different in a lot of things i do, sure, but most of the time it is in a general anti-conformist attitude. but, standing straight up to someone or soemthing has never been my forte.
when and if i have done it in the past, it generally ends up with me having some HUGELY over-romanticized version of what will happen play in my head, and then i try to emmulate said vision and i stumble over my words or say them so incredibly fast (to add a sense of vigor behind what i am saying) and in the process of trying to be overly-profound i end up becoming wholly incomprehensible, thus making the life-altering moment i was trying to create completely moot.
so, heres to trying to get out of my own way to live the Life that God has for me.
God help us all.
love you guys,
-Josh
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
hummm...
its wierd, but sometimes it seems like how you look at life can be as east as picking a chair to sit in. sometimes you want a happy outlook, and sometimes it feels like you are perpetually doomed to spend eternity in a small kindergarten school-desk with a body the size of andre the giant.
the way we look at life has an incredibly monumentous impact on our life, at least thats what specialists tell us, but i have to admit that at times my life feels a bit like this:
looking at life, it seems like this whole thing is unpredictable, and you simply must learn to take life as you go, enjoy the moments in life that make you smile, and learn to appreciate the bad times. lean into conflict, and learn to work through times that make you want to curl up in a ball and hide.
this is life. this is your life.
you didnt pick it, it picked you.
so get up, dust off your jeans,
look at today as if it is the first day,
and live as if it is your last.
-Josh
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
new years resolutions?
the new year is here... and, heck, its almost two days old ALREADY!
they grow so fast, dont they?
:)
well... this year has been an interesting year, for many reasons:
1. i finished my first year of College (woohoo!)
2. I changed my major at school (i gave up music for Jesus)
3. i worked at Hume Lake for a summer, and learned a lot about God, about Jesus ad about myself.
4. I got the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD! (workin for Jesus, lovin on HS Students... does it get better?)
5. I wrote my first (of many) exegesis paper (and got an A!)
6. I started a book (which i intend to finish... see below)
7. I have been real with a lot of my friends (major "i feel better" moment)
8. I made new friends
9. I got closer with Mah Baby Sistah! (woot woot)
10. I helped a friend of mine meet the Real Jesus... (in his words: "Ive never had someone sit down and show me that there is a
difference between God and religion")
11. I have been diagnosed and am being treated for a chronic condition, and i am *FINALLY* off of consistent pain
management meds.
12. I ONCE AGAIN continued my fetish for Grey's Anatomy (im in love) but also shared the wealth with House, MD.
13. I lost a best friend, and then a few months later found him again.
14. i Read Brennan Mannings "The Ragamuffin Gospel" (changed my life) and have learned that the only way to FOllow Jesus is
to come to him as you are, not pretending, and to acknowledge that he loves you.
15. have seen God work through saints and sinners, good times, bad times, pain, hardship, loss and friends... and i have personally witnessed His faithfulness to his promise : to "Work for the good of those who love Him".
God has been incredible to me this year. i have seen his love and patience and forgiveness and grace for those whom i had deemed unworthy, much less anyone else, and have seen the wonder of the truth of who He is completely nock the socks off of people who had no idea. i can say with some great confidence that My god is AWESOME.
this year has also brought together some crazy and weird things for me. Within the hardships of life, depression hit pretty had at times. its been a weird thing, hanging on to hope when life itself seems completely void of it. i look back on my blogs over the past year and i see hardships riddled throughout. i think that that is why my mantra these past few months has been "hope is possible"... because i have to believe that it is.
hope is possible.
believe it. live it.
its weird, when you look at life always knowing that there is hope out there, life becomes better. maybe not easier, but better. because your whole idea of life and the world changes, and the things you thought were so important suddenly dont matter anymore, and you find the greatest meaning in the small things in life.
that being said, here a few Resolutions for me...
-Finish my book. (this is a big deal for me... hopefully by the end of may, i will be done. crossing fingers*)
-save $10,000
-pay off my car
-lose poundage
-get my own apartment.
-help one person each day, in some way
-get straight A's
- find a relationship
- be a better pastor
- live.
these are just a few.
new years resolutions are so fickle, its astounding. but i hold true to that old whimsical saying: (insert whimsical saying here)
happy new year everyone!
"drench yourself with words unspoken,
live your life with arms wide open.
today is where your book begins,
the rest is still unwritten"
-Natasha Beddingfield
"If they give you lined paper, write the other way".
-Juan Luis Jimenez
-Josh
they grow so fast, dont they?
:)
well... this year has been an interesting year, for many reasons:
1. i finished my first year of College (woohoo!)
2. I changed my major at school (i gave up music for Jesus)
3. i worked at Hume Lake for a summer, and learned a lot about God, about Jesus ad about myself.
4. I got the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD! (workin for Jesus, lovin on HS Students... does it get better?)
5. I wrote my first (of many) exegesis paper (and got an A!)
6. I started a book (which i intend to finish... see below)
7. I have been real with a lot of my friends (major "i feel better" moment)
8. I made new friends
9. I got closer with Mah Baby Sistah! (woot woot)
10. I helped a friend of mine meet the Real Jesus... (in his words: "Ive never had someone sit down and show me that there is a
difference between God and religion")
11. I have been diagnosed and am being treated for a chronic condition, and i am *FINALLY* off of consistent pain
management meds.
12. I ONCE AGAIN continued my fetish for Grey's Anatomy (im in love) but also shared the wealth with House, MD.
13. I lost a best friend, and then a few months later found him again.
14. i Read Brennan Mannings "The Ragamuffin Gospel" (changed my life) and have learned that the only way to FOllow Jesus is
to come to him as you are, not pretending, and to acknowledge that he loves you.
15. have seen God work through saints and sinners, good times, bad times, pain, hardship, loss and friends... and i have personally witnessed His faithfulness to his promise : to "Work for the good of those who love Him".
God has been incredible to me this year. i have seen his love and patience and forgiveness and grace for those whom i had deemed unworthy, much less anyone else, and have seen the wonder of the truth of who He is completely nock the socks off of people who had no idea. i can say with some great confidence that My god is AWESOME.
this year has also brought together some crazy and weird things for me. Within the hardships of life, depression hit pretty had at times. its been a weird thing, hanging on to hope when life itself seems completely void of it. i look back on my blogs over the past year and i see hardships riddled throughout. i think that that is why my mantra these past few months has been "hope is possible"... because i have to believe that it is.
hope is possible.
believe it. live it.
its weird, when you look at life always knowing that there is hope out there, life becomes better. maybe not easier, but better. because your whole idea of life and the world changes, and the things you thought were so important suddenly dont matter anymore, and you find the greatest meaning in the small things in life.
that being said, here a few Resolutions for me...
-Finish my book. (this is a big deal for me... hopefully by the end of may, i will be done. crossing fingers*)
-save $10,000
-pay off my car
-lose poundage
-get my own apartment.
-help one person each day, in some way
-get straight A's
- find a relationship
- be a better pastor
- live.
these are just a few.
new years resolutions are so fickle, its astounding. but i hold true to that old whimsical saying: (insert whimsical saying here)
happy new year everyone!
"drench yourself with words unspoken,
live your life with arms wide open.
today is where your book begins,
the rest is still unwritten"
-Natasha Beddingfield
"If they give you lined paper, write the other way".
-Juan Luis Jimenez
-Josh
Thursday, January 01, 2009
the writings on the stall...
The following is from a post on "the writings on the stall" :)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Downtown Library
Gainesville, Florida USA 32601
Men's restroom, 1st floor
"JESUS CLONES YOU"
Apparently someone took issue with the proselytizing.
........................................
so good.
:)
hope you are having a great new year!
-Josh
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Downtown Library
Gainesville, Florida USA 32601
Men's restroom, 1st floor
"JESUS CLONES YOU"
Apparently someone took issue with the proselytizing.
........................................
so good.
:)
hope you are having a great new year!
-Josh
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