Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
faith.
I’ve ben thinking about faith today. a friend of mine is having a bit of financial trouble and he might be losing his house- and i was talking with him and as he was telling me this story, i was absolutely shocked! He seemed fairly content. “this isnt my house anyway” he said. and he began talking with me about the nature of following God wholly- that when you look at people in the bible, the Spiritual Studs, they all had some of the hardest times of life- from murdering someone, to being a drunk, having your life ripped away from you, to crucifixion- SAFETY was never a number one priority for these guys.
Francis Chan spoke to us at Hume last summer about this, telling the story of Elijah at Mount Carmel. You might know the story, but if you dont- Elijah is having a “duel” of god’s with the prophets of Baal (1 kings 18). After building two wooden altars (one for baal, one for Yahweh), and sacrificing two bulls(one each)- the contest was on. the god to set their sacrifice and altar on fire would win. prophets of Baal were up. they began chanting and shouting for Baal to show up and set ablaze the altar. “SHOUT LOUDER!” Elijah taunted them, “sure he can here you!”.
after numerous tries, Elijah said “ok... now its Yahweh’s turn”. He orders a BUTT load of water to be poured onto the altar, and then kneels and prays saying simply “Oh God, Lord of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Show us that you are real.”
Immediately the Fire of God comes down and destroys the ENTIRE ALTAR! and it says “When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!" (numbers 18:39)
Then he said “do you know what James says about Elijah? “Elijah was just a man, like us” (james 5:17)
“So...” Francis Continued, “How come when we pray, fire doesn’t come down?”
Im beginning to think that Im relying on my own strength and power far too much lately. I need to change my thinking, and begin shooting for heaven. because, as C.S. lewis said: “If you aim for heaven, and you miss... you get the world thrown in. But if you aim for the world, you get neither.”
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
the glory of it all.
Today i really wish i was up at hume. im having withdrawals it seems. hume seems so great to me, but at the same time, it seems so far away. its as if my entire soul i yearning for peace and rest, but its so far away... and i cant spare a few days to get away. i hate this feeling.
im sitting in starbucks right now, wishing I was somewhere else, or at least i had someone to hang out with. I hate feeling alone- its the worst. i heard a wuote a while backt aht resonates with me today:
“To be alone, the greatest freedom. to feel alone, the darkest prison”
I dont know who said it, but they were right on. I keep thinking of Cassie back in hemet, getting ready to graduate, having a blast this week because she is out of school. or Dain, content with being at the library. or Jenny, sitting at home, playing through worship stuff to prepare for thisweekend (which i still dont have a piano or guitar player for), and i sit here at starbucks, feeling discontent.
its almost 7:00 pm. i havent done anything with today really. i kind of want to drive home, but theres nothing really there that entices me. so, here i sit, at starbucks, wishing my life would have taken me someplace else for the moment, not enjoying life- simply living it.
im reading a book right now by brennan manning called “Abba’s child”, and he starts off the book with a blessing by Larry Hein:
May all your expectations be frustrated, may all your plans be thwarted, may all your desires be withered into nothingness, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of a God who is Father, Son and Spirit has come up with another one:
Today, on planet earth, may you experience the wonder and beauty of yourself as Abba’s Child and temple of the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
As i read this, i feel discomforted and awkward. It is something I struggle with i guess. i always want to be liked and useful in the situations that im in, but the flip side of that is that when im NOT feeling well recieved, i tend to feel as if the whole world is against me, and all i want to do is go back to bed.
so, right now... I’m at Starbucks. and all i can say with any heart felt truth of my soul is this: come, Jesus, come.
Obesa Cantavit.
the fat lady has sung.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
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