i love my friends, i really do. i love it that i have friends. i remember looking back at sophomore year in high school and how i thouht that i would never have friends, i would never have people around me that loved me for who i am... that even cared enought about me to ask how i am doing and truly want to know, or to invite me to something because they want me their, not just because i happen to be there when they decide to go.
i love friends.
They hae become my family.
i love my family.
its like... i get this feeling every day, like i am in the middle of a really awesome dream, a dream where things are great and it seems too good to be true, that i am loved by a friend.
and i live in fear every day that something will happen, and the dream will go away, i will be wrong and reality will set back in and i will be alone and desperately misunderstood...
i've heard it said that Christians are the only one who are living in a true reality. that everyone else out there is living in an altered sate of reality because they are not recognizing the one true god as being the one true God. i am living in this new reality, i a living in this dream world of life where God rules and is soveriegn.
this is my life.
this is my dream.
this is my story.
this is my reality... the best part is....
this is real.
Our god Lives, and our God Reigns!
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Beyond all of the things you may think you know, I'm just a kid trying to make it home- thats it.
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what am i about?
to me, it is important to live, to really live. but as i say that, i really have no idea what that means. i would see myself as a radical, a person that does things that are not normal, that are not socially acceptable, but not for the sake of doing them... but for the sake of pushing others to ignite. for some reason, i see myself as a catalyst, here to push people together and to ignite in them something... SOMETHING tangible to work with. i believe that it is only out of tension that things grow, that only by fire are things purified, and that only by the unending grace of god are we able to live, breath and think... not to mention sing.
i love Jesus, i am not going to say that i love him with my whole heart, because i dont know how to do that... i have been contemplating what being a follower of Christ looks like, because i have seen so many different pictures and ideas about what it means to follow him. I have learned that the only way to really understand the being that named himself the Savior, this God who is in heaven, is to realise that he loves me... i echo the thoughts of Brennan Manning in his book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" when he says "my deepest awareness of myself is that i am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and i have done nothing ot earn or deserve it".
im not sure what the christian life looks like, but i know that i am persuing it... and that in that, God is found. all of the theology we try to put on God, all of the crap we try to throw in the way, it all is obliterated in the light of grace... for the Gospel of Jesus is not one of what you do, but who you know... its relational, its dynamic, its a flowing, moving current of life and love and hardship and joy and good and truth and forgiveness and nothingness, all moved in and through this idea, this river of amazing grace... how sweet the sound!
i love Jesus, i am not going to say that i love him with my whole heart, because i dont know how to do that... i have been contemplating what being a follower of Christ looks like, because i have seen so many different pictures and ideas about what it means to follow him. I have learned that the only way to really understand the being that named himself the Savior, this God who is in heaven, is to realise that he loves me... i echo the thoughts of Brennan Manning in his book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" when he says "my deepest awareness of myself is that i am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and i have done nothing ot earn or deserve it".
im not sure what the christian life looks like, but i know that i am persuing it... and that in that, God is found. all of the theology we try to put on God, all of the crap we try to throw in the way, it all is obliterated in the light of grace... for the Gospel of Jesus is not one of what you do, but who you know... its relational, its dynamic, its a flowing, moving current of life and love and hardship and joy and good and truth and forgiveness and nothingness, all moved in and through this idea, this river of amazing grace... how sweet the sound!
1 comment:
I realize that we are not friends...but to say that you did not have ANY friends that cared about you at all is a flat out lie. Or perhaps you just forgot. I was always worried about you when you were sick. I copied my homework for you and sometimes did it for you. I really hope in the future that when someone cares enough about you that they would go out of there way to make your life easier you would have the courtesy not to post a blog about how miserable you were when they were there the WHOLE TIME. Don't just say anything to post a blog...
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