"Its not about the bunny"
This became kind of the tag line for me that past few days (at least in my head) where, no matter what I was doing or working on for Easter, always it was NOT about the bunny. with the services coming and going, with the candy Sees chocolate eggs sitting in my office- its not about the bunny.
I know that america has really commercialized this holiday, taking advantage of the pagan holiday of "Easther"- a ceremony of rebirth for spring- and making massive amounts of money off of it. how else would you get from death and resurrection to Chocolate bunny's and colored eggs? But I feel sometimes, too, that I take the idea of Easter somewhat for granted.
I mean- come on, how dumb of a holiday- Celebrating the fact that Christ rose from the dead? Of course He did! He's GOD, you know! Obviously, if He's God, this shouldnt really be that big of a deal... NOTHING should be that big of a deal... because He's God. Sometimes it all tends to seem like the church is just trying to hard.
selah
I was driving home from Huntington Beach tonight and I was thinking back on Easter's of that past and I was taken back to two years ago, easter morning.
I was in the hospital.
Loma Linda University Medical Center had become my home for the previous 24 days. My pancreas had grown a Pseudo-cyst, my spleen was about 3 times its normal size, my gallbladder was all screwed up and I had pancreatic fluid just... floating around inside of me. Life, as you can imagine, was not really fun for me- and on top of it all, my grandfather had just passed away.
I remember my mom hadn't been to church in a while. Going back and forth between hospitals and home, each about 30-45 minutes away from the other, had kept her from Community for some time and that Easter she was FINALLY going to be able to go to services.
But that morning didn't start off well for me at all. I woke up shaking violently, crying hysterically and unable to calm myself or catch my breath. My mind was unable to process what was going on, and I was horrified- unable to speak and unwilling to ask for help- the only thing I could think: I am not in control of my body right now.
I was terrified.
I remember sitting like that for about an hour, watching the clock- hoping someone would walk in the room and find me like this, so I wouldn't have to be alone. Finally nursing rotations changed, and my nurse came in to check final vitals before he left for the day- I will never forget the look on his face when he saw me shaking uncontrollably and sobbing, curled up in the corner of my bed.
I had had a panic attack. It was, and is to date, the scariest thing I have ever experienced.
My mom had to miss church that morning to help me. I felt horrible. After that day came the funeral of my grandfather, a SLEW of pain med's, more surgery, more recovery, and health issues that I still deal with to this day.
selah
I sit and think about that day, and stand in renewed amazement of the miracle of Easter morning. You see, as much as I used to think that Easter was a boring, redundant, "trying to hard" holiday, I now see the amazing and moving message that the resurrection of Jesus, the Christ brings: it is God's proclamation that He is able to make dead things, alive.
We can try all we want to make this sunday about pastel colored dresses and colored eggs, but in the end I can tell you that this morning holds special significance in my life- Not only am i still here, proclaiming the saving power of Jesus death two years later, but I am doing it as a man who knows the value of that power!
I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Easter is not about the bunny. Easter is our celebration in the awesome power of God- and His ability to make dead things, alive!
Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!
Jesus!
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