i hate my body... i really do. i hate it that i cannot find whats going on in my tummy... i hate it that im second guessing myself, and trying to act like its not there only ot find that im doubled over in pain afterwards, i hate it that i dont know. i feel like im not in controll of my body right now, and it freaks me out. but i have to remember that i am not supposed to be in controll of my body, God is. if i surrender myself to him, then i surrender my self to him. i have heard it said that faith is the curraige to accept acceptance. i think thats true.

Anna, as i was passing by the security booth thismorning, asked how i was, and i told her what happened. then she leaned her head into the window of my car and asked "josh, is God still on His throne?"

and i had to say "yes", because He is. and i need ot rest in that.

God, grant me the peace and patience to move through this world that has been created around me, and hep me to always turn to you in the midst of this.