1 year

Wow.

its been a year.

1 year ago, october 2008, I started as Pastor to Students at Huntington Beach Baptist Church. And today, i sit here, and I cannot believe how much I have learned over the past 12 months. As i write, i am trying to put to words all of the great, glorious things that i have witnessed- the lives I've seen begin to heal, the good that has come from bad, the hope restored to students- the amazing awareness of Youth Workers who realize they DO have something to offer to the kingdom. In all that I have seen, i can honestly say that one thought permeates every aspect of the past year:

God is SOOO good!

There's a genre of self-analytic books in circulation entitled "How I Changed My Mind"- writings from individuals, gathered over the course of their lives (often at yearly, or semi-annual intervals), and the authors document how their understanding of the world around them has changed since the lat publication. at the end of thier lives, these essays are compiled and bound together and printed as "How I Changed My Mind: [authors name].

Well, I remember, when i had been given the position, remarking on a song i had heard from Shaun Groves, and as i sit here- the words seem just as applicable now as they did a year ago. here are the lyrics:

Walking with you is not without hazards
Trippings this traveler's curse
Price paid for falling is more than my stumble
In a world that is watching and waiting for words

But I listened when You said to go
And I set out in spite of my fearsAbout truth mixed with my imperfection
And the question of what to say when I got here

And now that I'm here
Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?

Tonight, I found myself praying- "I listened when You said to go, and I set out in spite of my fears about truth mixed with my imperfection, and the questions of what to say when I got here"-

I still hold those fears, and I dont think they will ever go away. But i have changed my mind in this way, with this truth: God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. And the job that we do, the tough stuff of youth ministry, is not accomplished on our own doing, but on the doings of Christ. Not measu

red by own human measurements, not held back by human power and thought, not defined by human definitions- our ministry to ourselves and to the church is defined by God's power and person working within us. God has opened the door, hes set us up for success, and he's already written the end of the book- and now he's calling us to be a part of his reedemptive plan- and equipping us with His very own strength, wisdom, discernment and encouragement all the while.

I think the thing I have learned most about the world around me in the last year is that I have an intrinsic ability to screw stuff up! and along with that, I have learned the immense pleasure and joy God gets in bringing order out of my chaos, in such a way that I stand back and say "wow... God- you are SO good!"

Our theme for the next year of ministry is "Live the Life"- there are many implications of this phrase, but the one im focusing on is living a life that is so consumed with following Christ that our eyes are opened to seeing people the way he sees them, that we are always listening to his directions, that our hearts would break for what His heart breaks for, and that our lives would be healed and made new through His ability to make dead things, alive.

I cant wait to see where God takes us in another year, and to quote the band MondayMorning:

will You stand right next to me? will You hold me faithfully? should I question all these things? what makes me so deserving of something that I've thrown away coming back for me today, when I'm still nothing next to You- I'm still nothing next to You

and the wonder of it all is I'm still standing

and the wonder of it all is we're still standing

never planned it 

and I wonder where I'll be next year.

Love you guys, 

Josh