the fire pit...

im back at hume, and im freezing... things never really change do they? :)

its about 8 pm, and program staff forgot to light the fire in front of the snack shop, so im really a bit chilled at the moment. the long sleeve amor shirt is not holding its own out here, as i hoped it would.

as i look in front of me a small dog with a bow strapped around her head is wondering around the table, testing the confines of her small leash. she keeps trying to climb to unlit-fire pit to see whats inside.

its funny how we can find reminders of ourselves everywhere.

i wonder if the dog really likes the bow thats strapped to her head... if she really knew what the fashion trends are in the dog world, would she be wearing a bow that is so 1998?

or would she be thinking its really that important to be going into the still-unlit fire pit if she knew what was inside of it?

i wonder what our lives would be like, if we were like that... if we had a dumb bow strapped to out head and didnt care, rather than tryingt o buy $300 jeans that "just fit right"; or if our greatest desire would be to get into a fire pit rather than politics...

how would our lives be different if it were all a little simpler?

i think we would echo something a very smart girl once said: life is divine chaos. embrace it. forgive yourself. breath. yeah...

love all, worship one.
-Josh

wow... ill say it backwords... wow

this is a comment in response to an article on Obama's acceptance speech at the democratic natl. convention.

i hope this is satire...




wow...

-josh

wow

so much to say and not to much time to write them down.

life is good... God is great,

people on the floor ar amazing,
old friends are great
new friends are awesome

feeling better all the time

singing a song of hope,
sing along.

love all, worship one
-Josh

wow...

im still singing a song of hope...

sing along.

on the road again...

im sitting here, my last ngiht at hume lake, and its around 65 degrees outside.

im gonna miss this.

i have a long day of driving tomorrow, so im about to go hit the sack i think.

God is sOOOO Good, and his people are full of His love!

hopefully see some of you soon,

Be love
-Josh

thats MY king...

Boy I wish I could describe Him to ya...
-My King is the King of the Jews (That's a racial king)
-He is the King of Israel (That's a national king)
-He's the King of Righteousness
-He's the King of Glory
-He's the King of Kings
-He's the Lord of Lords
Thats my king

-David said, "the heavens declare the glory of God and the firmaments show of his handiwork"
-My King is a soveirgn King
-No means of measure can define his limitless love
-No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of his shoreless supply
-No barrier can hinder Him from pouring out his blessings
-He is enduringly stong
-He is entirely sincere
-He's eternally steadfast
-He's immortally graceful
-He's imperially powerful
-He's impartially merciful
-He is the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world
-He's God's son
-He's a sinners saviour
-He's the centerpeice of civilization
-He stands in the of Himself
-He's unique
-He's unparalle
-He's unprecedented
-He is the loftess idea in literature
-He's the highest personality in philosophy
-He is the supreme problem in high criticism
-He’s the fundamental doctrine of true theology
-He is the necessity for spiritual religion
-He’s the miracle of the age
-He is the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him
-He’s the only one qualified to be an all-sufficient saviour
-He supplies strength for the weak
-He’s available for the tempted and the tried
-He sympathizes and He saves
-He strengthens and sustains
-He guards and He guides
-He heals the sick
-He cleanses the lepers
-He forgives the sinners
-He discharges the debtors
-He delivers the captives
-He defends the feeble
-He blesses the young
-He serves the unfourtunate
-He rewards the diligent
-And He beautifies the meek
This is my King!!!

-He is the Key to Knowledge
-He is the Well-spring of Wisdom
-He’s the Doorway of Deliverance
-He’s the Pathway of Peace
-He’s the Roadway of Righteousness
-He’s the Highway of Holiness
-He’s the Gateway of Glory
-His office is manifold
-His promise is sure
-His life is matchless
-His goodness is limitless
-His mercy is everlasting
-His love never changes
-His word is enough
-His grace is sufficient
-His reign is righteous
-And His yoke is easy
-And His burden is light
I wish I could describe Him to ya…

-He’s indescribable
-He’s incomprehensible
-He’s invincible
-He’s irresistible
-You can’t get Him off your mind
-You can’t out live Him
-You can’t live without Him
-The Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him
-Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him
-The witnesses couldn’t get their testimonies to agree
-Herod couldn’t kill Him
-Death couldn’t hold him
-And the grave couldn’t contain Him
That’s my King!!!
And His is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory; forever, and ever, and ever, and ever- How long is that?- And ever, and ever… And when you get through all the forever’s, then amen!

i hate my body... i really do. i hate it that i cannot find whats going on in my tummy... i hate it that im second guessing myself, and trying to act like its not there only ot find that im doubled over in pain afterwards, i hate it that i dont know. i feel like im not in controll of my body right now, and it freaks me out. but i have to remember that i am not supposed to be in controll of my body, God is. if i surrender myself to him, then i surrender my self to him. i have heard it said that faith is the curraige to accept acceptance. i think thats true.

Anna, as i was passing by the security booth thismorning, asked how i was, and i told her what happened. then she leaned her head into the window of my car and asked "josh, is God still on His throne?"

and i had to say "yes", because He is. and i need ot rest in that.

God, grant me the peace and patience to move through this world that has been created around me, and hep me to always turn to you in the midst of this.

a song of hope.

wow... its been a try week.

ill say it backwords... wow.

its funny to think about, but it just hit me earlier in chapel... life sucks sometimes. it really does.

but we still have hope.

we still are in the presence of rescue.

and my God can still kick your gods Butt!

its funny... peter says in one of his books "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..."

hope.

its still possible.

its still here.

im singing a song of hope.

sing along. :-]

this is a story 'bout a guy named al...

sitting here with a great friend, Garrett Benjamin, and friends of his p here... this is good. i love this stuff.

yay.

there was an old man named micheal finnigin...

i used to attend little lake elementary school. i was always the wierd kid, the one who would stay inside during recess and talk with the teacher, or who would be really proud to be a part of the choir and band.

yeah, i was that kid.

when i was in 4th grade, the other boys made a "no gays allowed" club, made solely for the purpose of making me feel like a loser.

i remember walking up to the cool kids, the ones i wanted to be freinds with because they were cool, and as i was running up to them they saw me coming and took off runing away from me as fast as they could. i yelled "HEY! WAIT UP!" and mitch jergensen turned around and said "this is a no gays allowed club, so you cant join".

i had no idea what he was talking about. i would guess that he didnt either.

sometimes i wonder if we've grown up at all. we call ourselves "adults" but most of the time i still feel like a kid, trapped in a grown mans body. i dont want to have the responsibility of being old. i dont want the pressure of being a "GROWN UP".

being up here at hume has been an interesting experience. working a 9 hour day, 6 days a week... it takes it out of ya, and im feeling a little burnt out. when i got back from home a few days ago everything up here was different. i had a new shift, i was working with new people, my roomates had changed... suddenly, after a long week, i come back expecting normalcy... and everything fell apart. i was now working night crew with a group of girls who treated me like i was five years old. yesterday, for instance, they thoguht my break was over (but i had 3 minutes left) and they litterally started counting "1... get back to work now... 2, NOW JOSH... im gonna say three..." and i was like... are you kidding me? really?!?!

this has been a hard week. nothing in the kitchen is working out right, and everything is crashing down on me... im starting to wonder if anything would be different if i was gone. or, better yet, if they would be better if i left.

sitting at dinner last night, i was watching all the other people hang out together and wanted to join in the conversation. but, whenever i would ask what was said, they would say "nothing", and laugh and turn away.

some times life is great and everything is all fine and dandy.

other times, i wonder if anything has really changed, and if im still the same kid that was exiled from the "no gays allowed club", living in the same world, being shut out by all the same people...

do we ever truly grow out of ourselves?

Operation Desert Storm (or, thoughts on returning from kids camp)

man.. i miss home so mch right now, its ridiculous. geting back to hume, it was a long drive, and a weird welcome back. ecerything has changd, im on a different schedual, new people all over my kitchen, and HUGE attitudes that i have to face. quite a difference from a week hanging out with elementary school kids.

its not as hot here, which is good. but i feel like everything inside of me is screaming, and nobody can hear it but me.

Johnny Foster is here, so thats been a blast having fun with him and watching him enjoy hume. i have found that watching people enjoy things gives me a type of joy that i havent really experienced before. God is definately giving me joy when im out of the lime light, which is amazing. he is so good, and He also exists outside the walls and borders of Hume. thats something that was good for me to see. i needed that refreshment.

well, im back to work. hopefully ill update a little later.

dieing to self hurts.

-Josh

why am i here?

So I was wondering what I might say, or respond to the question “why are you up here at hume lake christian camps?”

and I think the best way to respond would be to show a picture. A picture of guys who, at the beginning of the week were awkward and kinda shy around everyone, but by the end of the week were worshipping God with their whole being...

its the story of adam, a kid who on brought us fish that he wanted to freeze for his trip back to hawaii, and on the last ngiht, the night where they call for people to give their life to ministry, adam stood p in the middle of all of his friends, then looked around and looked as though he was thinking “why arent all of youstanding up too?”

its the story of the kid who came up and showed us his self-proclaimed “FACIAL HAIR” (whi turned out to be a mole that had hair growing out of it).

Its the story of the guy who kept coming up to me all week and giving me a high five or a pound, and telling me the story of how one day he ate so much cheese that he was constipated for a whole month (he tell us this as he is holding a cheeseburger that has twice the amount of cheese as it does meat)

its Garret, the lead counselor, who has had some weird medical things happen to him. Who was the wrestling champion in his home state, yet he isnt afraid to wear a giant cow-boy hat with football pads and a bright orange shirt with bright neon-green shoes to help the kids have fun.

Its Brett Wood, whos greatest joy comes from handling campers special diets, making sure they are taken care of and that nothing gets in the way of these kids hearing the Good knews of Jesus Christ.

Its in knowing that I am getting up at 5 AM tomorrow morning to feed these kids breakfast because they came and got to hear about Jesus Christ, and He is the one I am doing it for.

Thats why I am at hume.

God is here.

Come and meet him, and say hey to me along the way!

a robin knows one thing in true,
that he is not an eagle
that, though he tries, and try he might,
he'll never be a beagle.
and as he sits and flaps his wings
to soar above the people,
he see's his shadow follow behind
on all the roofs and steeples

a boy sits down & naval-gazes
staring at his wound.
he knows that, so the surgeon says,
the pain will be gone soon.
and as he falls into the clouds
of wonder, he can see
his body laying brightly and
a shadow underneath

a philosopher gazes at the stars
and on our own own his thoughts reside
images of human depravity
make scars that do not fade
a phrase from some idealist
haunts his rickety frame,
a man, one of The Followers,
who said "Maybe we can change"

as though a bolt of lightning struck,
and caused a flash of night,
a student looks up from the fire
to see the blackened sky
and as the dots of twinkling lights
begin to show, they almost say:
"The shadows prove the sunshine,
and Hope is here today".

-J. Q. 2008

getting to the point.

in the end of galations, paul writes this awesome statement in his own hand, as kind of the "wrap it up, get serius" moment of the letter. he says this:

11 Notice what large letters I use as I write these closing words in my own handwriting.
12 Those who are trying to force you to be circumcised want to look good to others. They don’t want to be persecuted for teaching that the cross of Christ alone can save. 13 And even those who advocate circumcision don’t keep the whole law themselves. They only want you to be circumcised so they can boast about it and claim you as their disciples.

14 As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross,[c] my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died. 15 It doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. 16 May God’s peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new people of God.[d]

17 From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.

18 Dear brothers and sisters,[e] may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

paul is getting serius... hes saying that you can have all the outword things you want to... it doesnt make any difference... you can follow all the religious rules and doctrines you want too... but paul says this: "What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation." he believes this so strongly that he even blesses those who understand it: living the life means your life is changed from the inside out, and the outside will come. look at verse 17, probably one of my favorite verses in the entire bible: paul writes, in his own hand: "From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus."

what scars do i have? what have i done to show a changed life? do i have any scars to show that i belong to Jesus?

mmmory.

theres this awesome story about a bishop who is counceling a woman who claims she speaks to god and he talks back.

she tells him that she can remember eveything he says.

the bishop, a little curious about whats going on, tells her "ok... the next time you talk to him, tell him to tell you the sins that i confessed last night."

she says " are you sure?"

he says " yes, ask him to tell you all of the sins i confessed last night."

she leaves, and they go abou the ir busines.

a few days later, the bishop meets the girl again, and she comes running up to him and says "hey... i asked him!" and he said "you asked him what i confessed that night? what did he say?"

she got a glisten in her eye and said "you know what... he couldnt remember"


the awesome power of God is made possible in his ability to make us new, to make dead things alive.

God is great, all the time.


now im chillin with the kids in hume-n-beans.

life is good.

heres the story of a girl...

for some reason, im really out of it right now.

just found out that the tech guys over at pondy got a giant tescela coil (spelling?)

a giant coild that shoots out bolts of electricity (commonly referred to as lightning)

i get to be the one who works it.

yay!



its a nice day here at hume, a little warm. i ust checked and my mac says its gonna be in the low 90'2 here this week.

HOT!!

no bueno... but hey, its all good.

its gonna be a great week., CCC is here for camp, a slew of new campers are here... hume SD is starting this week.

its gonna be GREAT!

"experiencing God's love in Jesus Christ means experiencing that one has been unreservedly accepted, approved and infinitely loved, that one can and should accept oneself and one's neighbor." -Walter Kaspar
[Taken from] The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, pg. 63

soo...

i have to be at work in 8 hours-ish.
YAY!

my laundry wasnt dry when i went back to get it, so im stuck in the staff lounge, BUUUUTTT....

its CHICK FLIC FRIDAY!!!

every friday the RD's of the staff put on a chick flick, and today its HOPE FLOATS!!

man... how much better can the night GET?!?!?!

oh... wait...

the people im sitting with just busted out CATCH PHRASE!!!

hope everything is going great,
life is good... eternal life is WAY better.

-Josh
"what can be said about a generation that says that jesus is dead and elvis is alive?"

The glory of His Majesty is found
inside the sleeve of the man on the corner
who sits and wonders
why this world is

the grace of His Majesty is found in
the slobbering words of neil
who sits and stares
wanting just to say hello
and will repeate it until he is understood

the love of His Majesty is found
in jaimee, who is twenty-six
and lovs to wave herhands and
see your smile.

The power of His Majesty is found
in adam, taking a stand and looking down
at his friends around him, and wonders
why they are not stnading also

the Hope of His Majesty is found
in His Citezens crying out, not for
themselves but for the sake of those
who have heard of The Love in vain,
those who have never heard

the Majesty of His Majesty is seen
in anthony, HIV+, Homosexual,
with hep. C who comes to a
bible study to ask “Does God love me?”
and comes face to face with hope.

The Heart of His Majesty is found
in the people who serve him
by serving his people above
themselves, even if it means
that self never comes.

The Peace of His Majesty is found
in caleb, who's love for people and
for God exumes all of those around
him and shows them the Love.

The Joy of His Majesty is found
in the hand of his children
reaching out for Him and also
getting dirty for those around them
wanting to only see the face of his Son.

biscuits.

im tired.

its been a wierd orning.

Caroline dropped the milk machine on her hands and she had to be taken down the hill to the hospital.

breakfast, us being down one hand and with no direction, took forever to get out... panning up egg patties and sausage patties and hashbrowns and biscuits.

it was a nightmare.

but...well... it could have been worse.

i wish i could go to disneyland right now.

really bad.

i dont know why.

theres just something about seeing 60+ middle schoo students go foward, not to accept christ into their heart, but to declare that they believe the Jesus is Lord and the God has RAISED HIM from the dead... theres just something about that that makes you feel completely and totally insignificant.

and yet, in acknowledging Jesus and his Power and GRACE, you relaise that you are significantly insignificant.

God is GREAT.

sing a song of hope, sing it out.
God of Heaven, come down.

love you all,
be the change you want to see in the world.
-Josh