Cell phones...

from Bits & Pieces

my entertainment for the past week.

heres whats taken up my time the past few days.

You Begin (I love this)

You begin this way:
this is your hand,
this is your eye,
that is a fish, blue and flat
on the paper, almost
the shape of an eye.
This is your mouth, this is an O
or a moon, whichever
you like. This is yellow.

Outside the window
is the rain, green
because it is summer, and beyond that
the trees and then the world,
which is round and has only
the colors of these nine crayons.

This is the world, which is fuller
and more difficult to learn than I have said.
You are right to smudge it that way
with the red and then
the orange: the world burns.

Once you have learned these words
you will learn that there are more
words than you can ever learn.
The word hand floats above your hand
like a small cloud over a lake.
The word hand anchors
your hand to this table,
your hand is a warm stone
I hold between two words.

This is your hand, these are my hands, this is the world,
which is round but not flat and has more colors
than we can see.

It begins, it has an end,
this is what you will
come back to, this is your hand.

wow...

DUMB- when the Whitehouse press sec. was asked if it was appropriate for the Coastguard to hold excercises on 9/11, he said "I tend not to question law enforcement trying to keep the nation safe." ...can i just say, the minute we stop questioning law enforcement is the minute we hand our lives to other people without regard. and thats just dumb.

click here to read the report

a conversation with a friend.

We wer talking about being encouraged, and i started to share with her a passage i just read, that turned into a revelation to me...
----------------

Josh
i was reading through mark 6 tonight, and i caught a verse that i had never seen before... mark 6:31

[Her]
im lookin in the message

Josh
after the twelve went out and cast out demons and healed people, they come back and it says that because the people were coming and going so much, they didnt even have a chance to eat. and jesus says "come with me by yourselves and get some rest"

[Her]
sounds like my life
resting is one of the ten commandments!
honor the sabbath
we dont do it

Josh
but even in the midst of the "restful place" there was a HUGE crowd of people... and the desciples start to freak and jesus basically says "ill take care of it... you dont get it... you work and work and work... but here- look... im the rest, im the secret place, im the bread to fead them, im the boat that holds you... I AM.

i LOVE that about JEsus

[Her]
i know

Josh
we keep trying to be this anjd be that and go and go and go... and jesus is simply standing there, saying "whatever you need- im it. food? here i am. rest? here i am. help for others? here i am. health? im here. im the very boat that carries you to the rest you need.

isnt that cool!


[Her]
yeah it is
hes everything

Josh
but its scary to think that Jesus could be everything.

[Her]
i think its comforting

Josh
yeah...idk... for me, it comes down to the question "if Jesus is everything, what am i?"

[Her]
nothing but he makes me something

Josh
i need to learn to be comfortable in that place. the place of significant insignificance. We're nothing... completely unneccisary to do anything good or worthwhile in and of ourselves (even though we sure do try)... but jesus is standing there, right next to us, watching us fret and toil about all the while saying "hello!? im over here... im what you're looking for... yoohoo... you dont need to work, you dont need to worry, you simply need to know in the very core and pit of your soul and being who i am. if you know that... you wont feel oppressed a day again in your life...

i just keep thinking that if Jesus really is IT, is EVERYTHING... then i sure do waste a lot of time trying to find whats right in front of me

wow- the US Postal Service has Done it again! VIRTUAL BOXES!

Go to the USPS Virtual Box Simulator print out the paper with the logo, and have TONS OF FUN!!

The Spirit lead me to mark 6 tonight, and I'm stuck on verse 56. Can we still touch Jesus and be healed?

Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

spreading the wealth...

I worked with a guy named Tyler at Hume two summers ago. he was one of the first people i met, and showed me where the bathroom was... so he stuck out in my mind.

I ran across his blog a few months ago, and i REALLY like the way this guy thinks- take a look at one of his posts:

THE MERRY-GO-ROUND CONUNDRUM

Here is the question I pose to you:

Let’s say your wife is pregnant and you convince her to go onto a merry go round. She hops aboard and lies down perfectly in the middle. You grab hold of the edge and start to spin the merry go round faster and faster until the whole image is a blur. INSTANTLY, you stop the merry go round.

Now.

Would the baby continue to spin inside of her?

---------------

See more of his stuff HERE

.

At the Getty, taking in the Illuminated Manuscripts from the 13th C. To think the artist started with a blank page.

Josh
 
{Sent from my iPhone. Please Forgive any spelling/grammattical errors, shorthand or incompressible text-pictures. Thanks.}

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thoughts on the kingdom...

Sitting in the cove before class, I'm overhearing a conversation between people talking about conviction of sin and it sounds like they're talking as if conviction of sin and fixing what they're doing wrong is their main goal, the end result is perfection... but i cant help but wonder, Is our main goal as Christians to be perfect and good, or to be impactful followers? or both? Is there a difference? what would it look like if we really tried to imitate the Jesus of the gospels? would we be concerned more with the youth group kids cussing, or with the homeless person living in the church dumpster? is it possible to do both perfect and impactful?

"We're being good to show other people how good we are... and Jesus is calling you to be dangerous." -Mark Moore

"Jesus came to establish a kingdom, and all we gave him was a church". -Hans Kung

Taxes are complicated…

So, tell them in terms they might understand, like beer drinking.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. ’Since you are all such good customers, he said, ‘I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.

Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

‘I only got a dollar out of the $20,’declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,’ but he got $10!’
‘Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man. ‘I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!’
‘That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!’
‘Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison. ‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine
sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may
not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

really wanted to write something interesting...

but instead, How to give a cat a pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat
vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while
swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers
and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill:

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

from bits&pieces

$100 in ones for the garage sale. The lady counted to 99, realized she miscounted and had 2 recount.

Josh
 
{Sent from my iPhone. Please Forgive any spelling/grammattical errors, shorthand or incompressible text-pictures. Thanks.}

Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

4th floor guys and gals at Resrally playing epic rock paper scissors.

Josh
 
{Sent from my iPhone. Please Forgive any spelling/grammattical errors, shorthand or incompressible text-pictures. Thanks.}

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Sat down and don't want to get up... Oh well, I was warned:

Josh
 
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Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

Stuff i find...

Just walkin the Dog...

... THEY'RE...

do you like butt meat?

Reading "Ignore Everybody" by Hugh Macleod. This made me smile.

Josh
 
{Sent from my iPhone. Please Forgive any spelling/grammattical errors, shorthand or incompressible text-pictures. Thanks.}

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Hoola-hoop diving at the Summer Refresh poolparty. What a great way to end the retreat!

Josh
 
{Sent from my iPhone. Please Forgive any spelling/grammattical errors, shorthand or incompressible text-pictures. Thanks.}

Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

Starting Sunday morning encounter off with some Sunday school worship- Jesus the Soccer Star!

Josh
 
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Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

Darin Mcwatters rockin Session one of Summer Refresh! Living in light of the end!

Josh
 
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Stuff i find...

[click to enlarge]

Students building a sand village on the beach!

Josh
 
{Sent from my iPhone. Please Forgive any spelling/grammattical errors, shorthand or incompressible text-pictures. Thanks.}

Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

my updated and *final* class list for fall 09

   8:30am classes 4 days a week. i feel crazy. 

Posted via email from Joshua's posterous

hope for the struggling musician...

You can play music on your phone by pressing the buttons on the top (1,2,3)…and along the side (6,9,#). But don’t play the 4,5,7,8,*, or 0. They sound even worse than the others.

Happy Birthday
112163
112196
11#9632
969363

Auld Lang Syne
11113212
321139#
#9331212
321##91

Frere Jacques
12311231
369369
9#9631,9#9631
191,191

Mary Had a Little Lamb
3212333
222,399
3212333
322321

Louie, Louie
111-66-999-66

Help
911
911
911
911

from BITS AND PIECES