fun pics i've seen lately

People who buy this hate their children...





sad day...


Happy bear-







The price of Beauty? and a fake bake...

Extra-terrestrial Computer-Nabbers!!!

Transcript of a real call:
___

Me: “Thank you for calling **** support.”

Customer: “Um…I don’t think you’re going to believe this….”

Me: “What seems to be the issue today?”

Customer: “I think my computer was abducted!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I went to bed last night and my computer was on my dining room table. I woke up this morning late for work and rushed out the door. As I backed out of the driveway, I heard a crunch, and I figured it was a trash can or something.”

Me: “…OK. And what does this have to do with your computer, sir?”

Customer: “Well, when I checked it out it was my computer under the back tire. But I swear that it was still inside the house when I went to bed last night!”

Me: “OK sir, unfortunately your warranty does not cover extraterrestrial damage, so any repairs to the computer will have to be paid with a credit card.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I don’t want it fixed! I just wanted to let you know that your computers attract aliens. My insurance company already replaced it. I’m just waiting for it to arrive now.” *click*

___

from notalwaysright.com

take time...

within my day, i need to take a time out every once ina while... you know, for me.

this was my time out today.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

enjoy.

interesting take on Christian Leadership from Henry Nouwen

“Many priests and ministers today increasingly perceive themselves as having very little impact… They face an ongoing decrease in church attendance and discover that psychologists, psychotherapists, marriage counselors, adn doctors are often more trusted than they.”

“The secular world around us is saying in a loud voice, ‘We can take care of ourselves. We do not need God, the Church, or a priest. We are in control. And if we are not, then we have to work harder to get in control. The problem is not lack of faith, but lack of competence… God, the Church, and the minister have been used for centuries to fill the gaps of incompetence, but today the gaps are being filled in other ways, and we no longer need spiritual answers to practical questions.’ In this climate of secularization, Christian leaders feel less and less relevant and more and more marginal. Many begin to wonder why they should stay in the [ordained] ministry. Often they leave, develop a new competency, and join their contemporaries in their attempts to make relevant contributions to a better world.”

its interesting to me how we get all of these problems within our own ministry and life.

i guess thats why we remain centered on Christ.

He is our strength.

just got my bailout check!

Get yours HERE

hmmm...

is it truly possible for someone to REALLY know your name?

i thought about this as i was getting food with Mr. Jon Black.

He asked my middle name- i replied with my normal response:

i dont tell people my middle name.


he didnt like that.


but it got me thinking:

can you TRULY ever know someones name?

meaning, if i say "do you konw Josh?", a TORRENT of information and emotion come rushing into your head without you even realizing it, and with that simple word, conotations pop up all over your cerebral cortex.

you think of the Josh down the street,

or the josh in high school who was a stoner, and hung out by the bleachers,

or the Josh that your dad knows from Work,

or the Josh you saw on T.V.

or the Josh that peed in your hair in Elementary School.

each one of those people carry a different idea behind them. each name triggers a response, and the name of an individual gives you an idea of what you are dealing with.

the name is PACKED full of information and sway.


but can you ever REALLY know that name?

dont go here.... wherever here is.

from Bits & Pieces

Bad overdue fine idea.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.






From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached





From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th.
David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.





From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding.
We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached



from geekologie

ten things you should think about

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky … Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven’t got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

from bits&pieces

love y'all

gnight!

(Goodmorning?)

My new desktop background (and, on a side note, my 201th post)

and.... wow- so, what have I learned from the past 200 posts on here?

well- i think this poster from Despair.com sums it up:




yep.

love y'all-

-Qualeman

50 things you aren't supposed to know

I dont know if this is legit, but it can be found in the book
50 THINGS YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW by Russ Kick.

read at your own risk. :)

1.The Ten Commandments We Always See Aren’t the Ten Commandments
2.One of the Popes Wrote an Erotic Book
3.The CIA Commits Over 100,000 Serious Crimes Each Year
4.The First CIA Agent to Die in the Line of Duty Was Douglas Mackiernan
5.After 9/11, the Defense Department Wanted to Poison Afghanistan’s Food Supply
6.The US Government Lies About the Number of Terrorism Convictions It Obtains
7.The US Is Planning to Provoke Terrorist Attacks
8.The US and Soviet Union Considered Detonating Nuclear Bombs on the Moon
9.Two Atomic Bombs Were Dropped on North Carolina
10.World War III Almost Started in 1995
11.The Korean War Never Ended
12.Agent Orange Was Used in Korea
13.Kent State Wasn’t the Only ? or Even the First ? Massacre of College Students During the   Vietnam Era
14.Winston Churchill Believed in a Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy
15.The Auschwitz Tattoo Was Originally an IBM Code Number
16.Adolph Hitler’s Blood Relatives Are Alive and Well in New York State
17.Around One Quarter of "Witches" Were Men
18.The Virginia Colonists Practiced Cannibalism
19.Many of the Pioneering Feminists Opposed Abortion
20.Black People Served in the Confederate Army
21.Electric Cars Have Been Around Since the 1880s
22.Juries Are Allowed to Judge the Law, Not Just the Facts
23.The Police Aren’t Legally Obligated to Protect You
24.The Government Can Take Your House and Land, Then Sell Them to Private Corporations
25.The Supreme Court Has Ruled That You’re Allowed to Ingest Any Drug, Especially If You’re an Addict
26.The Age of Consent in Most of the US Is Not Eighteen
27.Most Scientists Don’t Read All of the Articles They Cite
28.Louis Pasteur Suppressed Experiments That Didn’t Support His Theories
29.The Creator of the GAIA Hypothesis Supports Nuclear Power
30.Genetically-Engineered Humans Have Already Been Born
31.The Insurance Industry Wants to Genetically Test All Policy Holders
32.Smoking Causes Problems Other Than Lung Cancer and Heart Disease
33.Herds of Milk-Producing Cows Are Rife With Bovine Leukemia Virus
34.Most Doctors Don’t Know the Radiation Level of CAT Scans
35.Medication Errors Kill Thousands Each Year
36.Prescription Drugs Kill Over 100,000 Annually
37.Work Kills More People Than War
38.The Suicide Rate Is Highest Among the Elderly
39.For Low-Risk People, a Positive Result from an HIV Test Is Wrong Half the Time
40.DNA Matching Is Not Infallible
41.An FBI Expert Testified That Lie Detectors Are Worthless for Security Screening
42.The Bayer Company Made Heroin
43.LSD Has Been Used Successfully in Psychiatric Therapy
44.Carl Sagan Was an Avid Pot-Smoker
45.One of the Heroes of Black Hawk Down Is a Convicted Child Molester
46.The Auto Industry Says That SUV Drivers Are Selfish and Insecure
47.The Word "Squaw" Is Not a Derisive Term for the Vagina
48.You Can Mail Letters for Little or No Cost
49.Advertisers’ Influence on the News Media Is Widespread
50.The World’s Museums Contain Innumerable Fakes

is this for real??

this is circulating around the web. i wonder if its real...

The things you learn on YouTube: PArt 8- How to feel like you're on an acid trip when you're not!

wOOOHOOO!!!!


you've got to wait till the end!

(dont worry- nothing will jump out at you)


after you're done, click on my picture!

;)

-Josh

this is why you don't mess with fictional characters...

from fffound

The things you learn on YouTube: PArt 7- How to ROCK forEVER!

This is SKYPARK, a vid of them back in the 90's-

check it at 00:25, learn how to rock.


Check them out at: myspace.com/skypark

=D
-Josh

so true-

from shoeboxblog.com

The Great Debate-

When i was in high School, a friend made a fun song about our mutual beloved friend, toilet paper.

now, the only question is, how do you use it?





do you pull from the front?



do you pull from the back?


do you fold?


or do you crumple?



whatever you do, you are not alone!



Many people use toilet Paper ALL the time, and they have done so for years! From the old "Use the sears catalog" way, to the Quilted Northern Hand-Crafted TP!


The Golden-Roll has been a family tradition for decades!


and, we all have had those fun experiences:



Happy Wednesday!
-Josh

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse?

... neither did she.

From bits&pieces

The things you learn on YouTube: PArt 6- How to attract a Woman.

WOW! so THIS is how i get a girl!?!?!

Music by VoiceMale: http://www.voice-male.com/

MArio explains relationships:

*sigh*

I tend to place the images of my life against the backdrop of a play.

every situation i am in has a particular backdrop, a setting, a mood music-

sometimes its high class, but most of the time its plain old life.

at times, though, i tend to think that the scenery is not matching what im doing.

that for some reason, whats behind me looks amazing, but im skrewing it up.

this quote pretty much sums it up:

"The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it."


...



i tend to place the images of my life against the backdrop of a play, and i wonder why i am here. if the reason i'm at the place that im at is really whats best, or what was intended.

Sir Ralph Richardson once noted that “acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing."


i pray EVERY day that my life is more than that. that my life is more than simply keeping people from doing something miniscule to pass the time.

but at times, i wonder.


i really wonder.

The Last Picture I Ever Took-

So I love these pictures- i found them YEARS ago, and while going through old pictures on my external hard-drive I found them again.

from the album called:
"THE LAST PICTURE I EVER TOOK".

this is what staying in Hemet does to a person...

Bad luck on Friday the 13th

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off.

After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off.

Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off.

I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand.

Now I’m afraid to pee.


from Bits & Pieces

The Video from our Winter Retreat is UP!!

Happy S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day)!!

What NOT to give her for Valentines Day

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria’s Secret model.

3. Any clothing item with the words “push-up” or “slim-down” on the label.

4. Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fiber” on the label.

5. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Jim Carrey, or Jenna Jameson.

6. Flowers from a hospital’s gift shop–or worse, a mortuary’s.valentinecats.jpg

7. Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out “There was once a girl from Nantucket…”

8. Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.

9. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.

10. A gift certificate.

11. Cash.

12. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.

13. An apologetic look and the words “That was today?”

from bits & Pieces

Happy S.A.D.
Josh

this kid can solve cubes!

ok- so i hink a lot of the amazing things i see are in response to or out of the PhillyD News show on Youtube.

Phil, today, decided to give away a Wii to a viewer with the best talent, and told those who thought they had one to make a video response.

check it out-




check this guy out at: http://www.youtube.com/cubedrummer67

Check out the Phillip DeFranco Show at: youtube.com/sxephil

funny!

hmmm... wrong teaching?

its always hard for me to sit and listen to people make gross exagerations about the bible that are completely false.
-------
just wittnessed:

Teacher: How much does Christ love the church?

Student: (yelling) He Died For it!

Teacher: Yes- we see that written all over the bible, "Jesus Died fr the church"... its everywhere.

------

ok... really?

1. this phrase is actually NOT found ANYWHERE in teh bible, just FYI.

2. this is actually at some point of discussion- was the church, the way it is, something God desired when He died?

Hanz Kuhn, a catholic philosopher, said once:
"Christ came to esteblish a kingdom,
and all we gave Him was a church."

interesting to think about... im not sure how i feel about teaching our youth that the Church is something to hold on to.

for some reason i feel like that is just such a small world view.

what do you think?

im depressing by environment?

sitting in Christian leadership, we were discussing the different driving forces in the human mind (greed, helping others, evil, following Christ... etc) and a friend of mine said that just moved from Hemet to OC to go to VU agreed and exposited a bit:

"Yeah- like... when i moved from my last town out here to Orange County, THE WHOLE ENVIRONMENT OUT HERE IS MONEY driven. its so WEIRD... cause environment in my last town (hemet) is just depressing. "


THANK YOU! NOW i know whats wrong with me. im literally a product of my environment.

if only i would have listened to my conscience screaming at me in third grade: GET OUT OF THIS TOWN!!!

...


im ruined.

so true...

Anyone else remember BookIt! (?)

I remember this from like THIRD GRADE-doing this and reading the amount you were supposed to, and coming home with a FREE PERSONAL PAN PIZZA!

(oooh yeah!)


i read some awesome books through the BookIt! Program, like

The BFG by Rauld Dhal,

HOLES by Louis Sachar

the Box Car children!

and who could forget those old favorites:

GOOSEBUMPS!



woohoo.... man.

seeing this logo made it all come flyin back.

Did you participate in BookIt! ?

this is what i look like when ii wake up.

vertigo

So... im not gonna lie. this made my head freak out for a minute.

good tips:

from bits&pieces

bad childrens to idea:

bad bad bad bad bad

bad idea.

hmmm

some people say that the message of Jesus is "be good and everybody share"...


i think- if you were to take the Jesus of the gospels and try and fit it into that model...

the sides will blow apart.


living the christian life HAS GOT be be more than simply "being good"...


doesn't it?

"Jesus never called you to be good... he called you to be Dead."
-Mark Moore

FTW

amazing.

from blame it on the voices

DONT DRINK AND FISH!

from bits&pieces

am i the only one who finds this odd... and a bit intriguing?

reversed a miracle?

i visited a good friend tonight out in Hemet, Joey and Jo-Lyn Azterbaum, and we spent the night telling stories and catching up the way we do.

but Joey told me the story of him and Jo-Lyn going to a mormon church back in their college years.

if you dont know, the Mormon Church uses water during communion with bread, to represent the body and blood of Christ. Im not sure why... i was told once, but i dont remember.

anyway, so... joey is sitting there and he said the only thing that went through his head was:

"Jesus turned water into wine, and the Mormons turned it back..."


i laughed so hard it hurt.

:D

i thought i would re-tell that story to you.

yay!

well... now im sitting in Starbucks, with my grasshopper in hand... seeing the same people come in and out of htese doors that i have seen for the past few years. its amazing how, within this town, there are so many things you can count on- seing the same people at the same places is one of them.

now, i wonder if i can really put off writing essays much longer.

heres to hoping.

Love y'all,
-Josh

a bit raunchy... but good.

fun thought.

the answer: pirates vs. ninjas

this vid is awesome... a bit vulgar, but awesome!


the question of the day from Phil DeFranko: who wins? pirates vs. ninjas?

the answer, in musical form:


Lyrics:

Pirates vs. Ninjas:

You've asked us a question that is older than time
Pirates or Ninjas, who's cooler and why
So I took my guitar and I wrote you this song
And I hope that you all sing along

The life of a pirate is exciting to boot
When you're not raping women you plunder and loot
You cuss and you drink and you don't give a hoot
Oh a pirate's life is quite grand

A pirate ships captain is quite a cool dude
Then you'd surrounded by your loyal crew
Unless they all mutinied, then you'd be screwed
Oh a pirates life's not that bad

Being a pirate takes quite a great skill
Living moment to moment, just for the thrill
And if the hookers don't kill you the scurvy sure will
Oh a pirate's life's not that great

The life of a ninja is really quite fun
Your mission, quite simple, kill everyone
And you do not ask questions you just get it done
Oh a ninjas life is quite rad

A ninja is trained in both bo staff and spear
With nunchuck and sword he's got nothing to fear
If he gets into trouble he'll just disappear
Oh a ninjas life's pretty sweet

A ninja has never been born he is bred
He trains hours on end breaking boards with his head
And if he makes one wrong move, then he will be dead
Oh a ninja's life is intense

So you've asked us to tell you the best of the two
And I think I am ready to explain it to you
A pirate is simple, perverted, and crass
But a ninja will quietly murder your ass


check out This guys video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SjvUOWdavA
check out the Phillip DeFranko Show at :http://www.youtube.com/user/sxephil

you MUST check this out!

EVERYONE!

HELP OUT A VU STUDENT!


GO TO http://tinyurl.com/d6v8zo


DO IT!!!!

25 things.

here it is... 25 things.

1. I have this strange idea that Im gonna end up living with a cat lady when im older.

2. I miss theatre more than i let on.

3. Im a closetted country fan.

4. I have many things in my past that i dont like, but regrets are few- this is my story. i own that.

5. I hate the fact that there is a rift between Christians and Homosexuals. a lot. i HATE it.

6. Sometimes i feel like im missing out on my youth and that im growing up too fast...

7. I have a love/hate relationship with coffee. i love it... then i hate what it does to me.

8. I struggle with acne.

9. i like sleep. a lot. way more than i should.

10. I care about people more than i let on... and i pay for it often.

11. I have been in love with a close friend for a LONG time. and they have no idea.

12. i sleep with a body pillow.

13. I am really insecure about how other people interact with me. i often find myself feeling like a 5th wheel in life- like im not really friends with people, im just an outsider looking in on a life that i could never dream of having.

14. I rely on my humor more than i should.

15. I have a strong respect for the Mormon faith, even though I dont follow it.

16. I have a distinct fear of growing up, and at the same time of being hindered because of my youth.

17. i dont really have a sister... but i do. :D

18. I LOVE EVERWOOD! more than anyone should ever EVER love a t.v. show.

19. I truly believe i have the best job in the world.

20. i am in love with SKA.

21. i watch people.

22. i always try to help people who cant help themselves. sometimes it blows up in my face.

23. sometimes me being nice comes across as me being creepy. i hereby apologize to everyone that might have been in the middle of this.

24. I MISS MY POWAY PEEPS!!

25. this was harder than i thought it would be to complete. what does that mean?!?!

ok... here we go.

so... here I go... a NEW PACT for me, in an effort to combat...myself.

from NOW until EASTER (69 days) ME and CASSIE are giving up COFFEE AND FAST FOOD... COMPLETELY!

pray for us.

we WILL do this.

:D

-Josh

from "a bit of fry and laurie"

DO NOT HUG THIS MAN!

things I've learned on youtube part 5: OPERATION SAVE THE KITTENS

logic at its best

DISCOVERY

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.

from fffound.com

an ex-presidential joke...

this is amazingly awesome.

bush's joke is good, clintons response is GREAT!

My mantra

Students say the darndest things...

Sitting In awanas, discussing forgivness.

TEACHER: Have ever had to forgive someone once? Twice? Eight times? Have you ever had to forgive someone so much you just get tired of it?

STUDENT: [immediately] every Tuesday.

a moment with Thomas Merton

“If you want to identify me,
ask me not where I live
or what I like to eat
or how I comb my hair,
but ask me what I am living for –
in detail –
and ask me what I think is keeping me
from living wholly for the things I want to live for.”
~ Thomas Merton



“THOUGHTS IN SOLITUDE”
by Thomas Merton

My Lord, God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself; and,
The fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please You
does, in fact, please You.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And, I know that if I do, You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore, will I trust You always –
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for You are ever with me; and,
You will never leave me to face my perils alone.




"Let there always be quiet, dark churches in which people can
take refuge....Houses of God filled with his silent presence. There,
even when they do not know how to pray, at least they
can be still and breathe easily. -Thomas Merton, (New Seeds of Contemplation)

why you should NEVER talk to a 14 year old.

from shoeboxblog.com

getting a handle on this Jesus guy

sititng in Life of jesus- thinking that the person of Jesus is far more intricate and hard to get a handle on than i once thought.

working with the name of Jesus is very different, i have seen, than working with the MAN of jesus.

i have heard a quote from thomas Howard that i think sums up what i feeling:


In the figure of Jesus the Christ there is something that escapes us. He has been the subject of the greatest
efforts at systemization in the history of man, but anyone who has ever tried this has had, in the end, to admit
that the seams keep bursting. He sooner or later discovers that he is in touch, not with a pale Galilean,
but with a towering and furious figure who will not be managed.

-- Thomas Howard


the amazement of this guy just astounds me.

and the knowledge that i will never fully be able to contain Him only wets my appatite for Him and raises my ability ot trust in Him.

"is he safe?"

"Safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

Obama-Cola!

I dont know about you, but im thirsty for change!

had to repost- BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE EXCHANGE EVER!

Below is a quoted exchange from notalwaysright.com/

Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
----------------------------------

A woman who had gone through my line earlier that day came up to me.)

Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”

Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”

Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”

Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”

Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*

Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”

Customer: “I drove here, of course!”

Me: “With your car keys?”

Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”

Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”

Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”

(I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)

Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”

Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”

Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”

(My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)

Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”

Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*
-------------------------

HAPPY MONDAY everyone!
-Josh

life is for connecting with people-

SO GOOD!

SO FUNNY!!!

http://www.freakybestmanspeech.com/

check it out- but you MUST MUST MUST watch till the end!

so great!

-Q

New Vlog: Suggestions.

Winter Retreat: day 1-

Winter Retreat

Day 1

Theme: This is me.

The night went really really well... i think the kids got the main idea behind the night, and they are really understanding what this retreat is about. Im SO PROUD of all of my leaders that im working with! they are so great at what they are doing, and I am so blessed to be working with such a GREAT CHURCH.

Jesus is totally all over this retreat, and seeing the students light up when they start to meet him is amazing.


now... im tired, and have put out more fires than i wanted to, and am enjoying the quietness of the moment. the scavenger hunt went across AWESOME, the first session went really really well (Devin was awesome, the kids i think Got the main idea of the message), the guys did a good job cooking the girls food. (nobody died... yet) and they are all asleep.

not a bad day in the YM neighborhood, if i do say so myself.

and now... ahh... whats that i hear? silence? aaaahhhhhh.... so soothing.

well, im getting tired, and the kids are asleep... and i have to be up in 4 hours.

some call this insanity (ive already been accused of being on SOME kind of drug... "you gotta be on something to voluntarily WANT to do this!") but in all honesty, i look at it as an amazing opportunity to do what i love to do:

love on teenagers.

i still woke up today and thought to myself: "you are getting paid for this??"

i have said it before, and ill say it again:

I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!

love all, worship one.
-Josh

haha

i was about to go to bed, and i saw this:




LMAO!!!

anywho- goodnight all

or, should i say,

goodmorning.

-Josh

looking at the back (or is it the front)

its funny how, as life unfolds, you end up looking at something, and wondering what hte heck it really is... if anything.

ok, so that might have been fairly ambiguous and illogical, but imagine you walk up to a store that you have been going to for a long time... you come up to the door, and for the first time you notice a small blue sign just to the left of the enterence:



the sense that you feel at that moment is what i am feeling.

what if everything in life that i have been looking at has been done the "wrong way"?

...

what if thats why i see things differently?

when everyone else is looking at the front, im looking at the back and thinking of it as something wholly different than what it was designed to be...

a ball becomes a chair

a CD becomes a wall-ornament

a box of kleenex becomes a portal into another world.


the possibilities are endless, and what is more- unbelievably interesting and quite often profound.

"If they give you lined paper, write the other way"
-Juan Luis Jimenez

The things you learn on YouTube: Part 4- How to eat a carrott!

*smiles*

HAPPY MONDAY!

-Josh

life... gone crazy....

its funny how a small bit of information can completely and utterly ruin or change an entire day.


isnt it?

Scenerio:

its a great, bright, not too hot, not too cold, breezy, but not too breezy, day.

you are driving, but not too far, and there are other people around, but not too many people.

life is good, but not TOO good, and you are smiling.

and then something like THIS happens to you:



and your day is GONE!



...



i found out that i will not be having a room to myslf today, and on top of that, i know the person and im pretty sure me and him wont jive.


weird, huh?

i was told that this year was going to be an INCREDIBLE year, and that God was going ot do some crazy, UNEXPECTED things in my life.

but, the person who told me this said, i would have to choose to live into God's plan.

hmmm.....


i've never been one to stand up to things. I tend to be different in a lot of things i do, sure, but most of the time it is in a general anti-conformist attitude. but, standing straight up to someone or soemthing has never been my forte.

when and if i have done it in the past, it generally ends up with me having some HUGELY over-romanticized version of what will happen play in my head, and then i try to emmulate said vision and i stumble over my words or say them so incredibly fast (to add a sense of vigor behind what i am saying) and in the process of trying to be overly-profound i end up becoming wholly incomprehensible, thus making the life-altering moment i was trying to create completely moot.


so, heres to trying to get out of my own way to live the Life that God has for me.

God help us all.

love you guys,
-Josh

hummm...

its wierd, but sometimes it seems like how you look at life can be as east as picking a chair to sit in. sometimes you want a happy outlook, and sometimes it feels like you are perpetually doomed to spend eternity in a small kindergarten school-desk with a body the size of andre the giant.

the way we look at life has an incredibly monumentous impact on our life, at least thats what specialists tell us, but i have to admit that at times my life feels a bit like this:





looking at life, it seems like this whole thing is unpredictable, and you simply must learn to take life as you go, enjoy the moments in life that make you smile, and learn to appreciate the bad times. lean into conflict, and learn to work through times that make you want to curl up in a ball and hide.

this is life. this is your life.
you didnt pick it, it picked you.
so get up, dust off your jeans,
look at today as if it is the first day,
and live as if it is your last.

-Josh

many of my family members should use this...

;)

-Josh

new years resolutions?

the new year is here... and, heck, its almost two days old ALREADY!


they grow so fast, dont they?

:)

well... this year has been an interesting year, for many reasons:

1. i finished my first year of College (woohoo!)
2. I changed my major at school (i gave up music for Jesus)
3. i worked at Hume Lake for a summer, and learned a lot about God, about Jesus ad about myself.
4. I got the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD! (workin for Jesus, lovin on HS Students... does it get better?)
5. I wrote my first (of many) exegesis paper (and got an A!)
6. I started a book (which i intend to finish... see below)
7. I have been real with a lot of my friends (major "i feel better" moment)
8. I made new friends
9. I got closer with Mah Baby Sistah! (woot woot)
10. I helped a friend of mine meet the Real Jesus... (in his words: "Ive never had someone sit down and show me that there is a
difference between God and religion")
11. I have been diagnosed and am being treated for a chronic condition, and i am *FINALLY* off of consistent pain
management meds.
12. I ONCE AGAIN continued my fetish for Grey's Anatomy (im in love) but also shared the wealth with House, MD.
13. I lost a best friend, and then a few months later found him again.
14. i Read Brennan Mannings "The Ragamuffin Gospel" (changed my life) and have learned that the only way to FOllow Jesus is
to come to him as you are, not pretending, and to acknowledge that he loves you.
15. have seen God work through saints and sinners, good times, bad times, pain, hardship, loss and friends... and i have personally witnessed His faithfulness to his promise : to "Work for the good of those who love Him".

God has been incredible to me this year. i have seen his love and patience and forgiveness and grace for those whom i had deemed unworthy, much less anyone else, and have seen the wonder of the truth of who He is completely nock the socks off of people who had no idea. i can say with some great confidence that My god is AWESOME.

this year has also brought together some crazy and weird things for me. Within the hardships of life, depression hit pretty had at times. its been a weird thing, hanging on to hope when life itself seems completely void of it. i look back on my blogs over the past year and i see hardships riddled throughout. i think that that is why my mantra these past few months has been "hope is possible"... because i have to believe that it is.

hope is possible.

believe it. live it.

its weird, when you look at life always knowing that there is hope out there, life becomes better. maybe not easier, but better. because your whole idea of life and the world changes, and the things you thought were so important suddenly dont matter anymore, and you find the greatest meaning in the small things in life.

that being said, here a few Resolutions for me...
-Finish my book. (this is a big deal for me... hopefully by the end of may, i will be done. crossing fingers*)
-save $10,000
-pay off my car
-lose poundage
-get my own apartment.
-help one person each day, in some way
-get straight A's
- find a relationship
- be a better pastor
- live.

these are just a few.

new years resolutions are so fickle, its astounding. but i hold true to that old whimsical saying: (insert whimsical saying here)

happy new year everyone!


"drench yourself with words unspoken,
live your life with arms wide open.
today is where your book begins,
the rest is still unwritten"
-Natasha Beddingfield

"If they give you lined paper, write the other way".
-Juan Luis Jimenez

-Josh

the writings on the stall...

The following is from a post on "the writings on the stall" :)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Downtown Library
Gainesville, Florida USA 32601
Men's restroom, 1st floor
"JESUS CLONES YOU"
Apparently someone took issue with the proselytizing.
........................................


so good.

:)

hope you are having a great new year!
-Josh