What should i tell them tonight...

Well today i was officially voted on and welcomed as the new youth pastor at Huntington Beach Baptist Church.

i had the first youth group with me having that position, and it was pretty legit... and everyone had a large desire for chinese food afterwards.

i got home and a song came up on my itunes that speaks into what im experiencing perfectly...


it's called "should i tell them" by Shawn Groves.


Walking with you is not without hazards
Trippings this traveler's curse
Price paid for falling is more than my stumble
In a world that is watching and waiting for words

But I listened when You said to go
And I set out in spite of my fears
About truth mixed with my imperfection
And the question of what to say when I got here

And now that I'm here
Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?

Now don't get me wrong
I'm thankful to be here
With this song to sing and a spotlight on me,
But lately I'm wondering if you are mistaken,
If you're seeing all of me there is to see.

Cause on every face I detect
The same questions I've posed to you
Like do you speak through the imperfect
Are we too dirty for your light to get through?
I want your light to get through.

What should I tell them when
They're thirsty Lord
My cup is empty Lord
Come and lead me here in this place
Cuz I'm honest, yeah, but I'm unprepared
And I'm just plain afraid...

Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?


this is what im feeling.
i'm often wondering, looking up at God and wondering if he really knows me and who i am... if he really knows who I am, because if he did... would he really be sending me to do this? i mean... who am I? why me? what did i do deserve this?

a dear friend kindly reminded me that there may be better experienced people out there, but they are not HERE... and God does not overlook anything or put people in positions that he doesn't intends to use them in... and i am willing to be here, but i don't know if i can do it right... "what shoudl i tell them? what if i'm failing them..."

here i am, this is me... and i know that i am nothing... which is why i know this is a God thing... because this would have never happened unless he had ordained it.

Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?

why?

It's funny to think that in some times in our lives we get the feeling that life would be so much better if we were in a play. if our lives were scripted. if all we ever had to do was play the part written for us, for that small amount of time, then walk off stage, shake it off and go out for dinner with our friends. It almost always surprises me that Life is often stranger than fiction.

I heard a quote once, "...because take a look around. why would sanity make sense?"

How often our worlds end up flipped upside down and all we can think about is the desire within us to right it, to put it back the way it was, or to turn it into the way it was supposed to be. and when we fail at that endeavor, we cringe and fall under the immense weight of despair and hopelessness.

why is there hurting in the world?

One of my professors taught a new testament survey class once, and one day he walked into class in a robe and phylacteries in order to role-play a Jewish rabbi. he told stories and took questions about his faith (as the rabbi) and expressed in great detail the wonder of being a Jew.

One student brought up the Holocaust, and asked him of his views on that.

"the holocaust was a very horrible time for my people, and we endured many things and lost many things through that time... what a terrible time for us, terrible...terrible..." he explained.

One of his students decided to challenge the professor and said "I believe that the holocaust was a good thing because, in spite of the killing, it deepened you faith and made it more real".

a good thing?

At that moment, the Professor looked away from the boy, to the top left corner of the auditorium, where a young girl, just out of high school, sat... tears welling up in her eyes.

The professor was the only one in the room who knew this girls story.

She had had a baby at the age of 15, and Social Services had come and taken the baby out of her home because no one in the home was fit to raise the child.

This girl had come to College to get a degree,in hopes that one day she would be able to care for her baby again.

Just before class, the girl had recieved a phone call from the baby's socail worker who told her that early that morning that baby had been beaten by a medical worker and had died the hour before.

now, with this ignorant student in the front row proclaiming that it is good for these things to happen, because they deepen our faith, she was un-able to move. he breath had gone short and her bottom lip was quivering in a feeble attempt to keep the tears welling up in her eyes from running down her face.


why do bad things happen?

why do we live in a world so broken, and why the hell are there so FEW PEOPLE out there trying to fix it?

We as people hate noticing things that need to be fixed. we hate going to a shrink because we think we have it all together, we hate having an intimate relationship with God because we might feel inadequate and broken, we even sometimes hate getting into a relationship with some one else because that person might end up leaving us and we would feel that same sting of guilt.

we hate seeing a homeless person on the street, and when we do we look straight ahead, afraid that if we look at him, we will have that FEELING again.

we hate feeling our own depravity, so we walk around with a facade of care and a true sense of apathy toward the world around us.

my question is this: why, if there is pain in the world, are so few people trying to take it away?

why?

"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." -Jesus

FAIL!

some of the best from youtube channel: Failblog

yay!

the fun of the campaign... wow!

I really like mcCain... but this scares me a little bit... and makes me laugh at the same time... can you say "appealing to the crowd?"

no subject necessary...

i don't know who told people i was strong enough to handle this... but im not.


i promise.

new PICTURE GALLERY

so.... i have a new photo gallery... check it out!

http://gallery.mac.com/jquale

YAY!!!

still amazing me...

"Your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day.
Entrance is crucial and its not without pain.
Theres no path to follow, once youre here.
Youll climb up the slide and then youll slide down the stairs.

It's foreign on this side,
But it feels like I'm home again.
There's no place to hide
But I don't think I'm scared"

-This Side, by Nickel Creek

Joy. and brilliance

both, included.

thoughts of a tired soul...

This has been a rough weekend... a long nights day. :)

today, though, i found comfort in this story:


A young jewish man goes to his rabbi and says to him

"Rabbi, why is it that the law says that the the word is to be written on out heart, not within our heart?"

and the rabbi said "so that, when your heart breaks, the words will fall inside."

I have also found that Nickel Creek has a way of speaking to me in ways i never thought possible: "its foreign on this side, and the truth is a bitter friend."

love all, worship one.

-Josh

p.s. for all of you, "a true friend rides in your car, no matter how many times you have almost killed them".
meditate on this. :D

ministries collide!

so... this weekend I am leading worship at Community with the guys again... can't wait for that, YAY!!

then sunday ngiht, its my first day as the Director of youth Ministries at Huntington Beach Baptist Church... Please pray for me, and for the students... for their sake. :x

and then on tuesday night, we're kicking off another new ministry im spearheading right now called "The Losers Club: Chillin with the least of these"... im really stoked about this!

heres the info, so if you are in the area of Vanguard University, please stop by!


Please keep me in prayer this year, that i may always remember to keep my hand help on to God alone, "blooming where i stand". (thanks qwest)

God is good, All the time.

love ya guys,
-Josh

the fire pit...

im back at hume, and im freezing... things never really change do they? :)

its about 8 pm, and program staff forgot to light the fire in front of the snack shop, so im really a bit chilled at the moment. the long sleeve amor shirt is not holding its own out here, as i hoped it would.

as i look in front of me a small dog with a bow strapped around her head is wondering around the table, testing the confines of her small leash. she keeps trying to climb to unlit-fire pit to see whats inside.

its funny how we can find reminders of ourselves everywhere.

i wonder if the dog really likes the bow thats strapped to her head... if she really knew what the fashion trends are in the dog world, would she be wearing a bow that is so 1998?

or would she be thinking its really that important to be going into the still-unlit fire pit if she knew what was inside of it?

i wonder what our lives would be like, if we were like that... if we had a dumb bow strapped to out head and didnt care, rather than tryingt o buy $300 jeans that "just fit right"; or if our greatest desire would be to get into a fire pit rather than politics...

how would our lives be different if it were all a little simpler?

i think we would echo something a very smart girl once said: life is divine chaos. embrace it. forgive yourself. breath. yeah...

love all, worship one.
-Josh

wow... ill say it backwords... wow

this is a comment in response to an article on Obama's acceptance speech at the democratic natl. convention.

i hope this is satire...




wow...

-josh

wow

so much to say and not to much time to write them down.

life is good... God is great,

people on the floor ar amazing,
old friends are great
new friends are awesome

feeling better all the time

singing a song of hope,
sing along.

love all, worship one
-Josh

wow...

im still singing a song of hope...

sing along.

on the road again...

im sitting here, my last ngiht at hume lake, and its around 65 degrees outside.

im gonna miss this.

i have a long day of driving tomorrow, so im about to go hit the sack i think.

God is sOOOO Good, and his people are full of His love!

hopefully see some of you soon,

Be love
-Josh

thats MY king...

Boy I wish I could describe Him to ya...
-My King is the King of the Jews (That's a racial king)
-He is the King of Israel (That's a national king)
-He's the King of Righteousness
-He's the King of Glory
-He's the King of Kings
-He's the Lord of Lords
Thats my king

-David said, "the heavens declare the glory of God and the firmaments show of his handiwork"
-My King is a soveirgn King
-No means of measure can define his limitless love
-No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of his shoreless supply
-No barrier can hinder Him from pouring out his blessings
-He is enduringly stong
-He is entirely sincere
-He's eternally steadfast
-He's immortally graceful
-He's imperially powerful
-He's impartially merciful
-He is the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world
-He's God's son
-He's a sinners saviour
-He's the centerpeice of civilization
-He stands in the of Himself
-He's unique
-He's unparalle
-He's unprecedented
-He is the loftess idea in literature
-He's the highest personality in philosophy
-He is the supreme problem in high criticism
-He’s the fundamental doctrine of true theology
-He is the necessity for spiritual religion
-He’s the miracle of the age
-He is the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him
-He’s the only one qualified to be an all-sufficient saviour
-He supplies strength for the weak
-He’s available for the tempted and the tried
-He sympathizes and He saves
-He strengthens and sustains
-He guards and He guides
-He heals the sick
-He cleanses the lepers
-He forgives the sinners
-He discharges the debtors
-He delivers the captives
-He defends the feeble
-He blesses the young
-He serves the unfourtunate
-He rewards the diligent
-And He beautifies the meek
This is my King!!!

-He is the Key to Knowledge
-He is the Well-spring of Wisdom
-He’s the Doorway of Deliverance
-He’s the Pathway of Peace
-He’s the Roadway of Righteousness
-He’s the Highway of Holiness
-He’s the Gateway of Glory
-His office is manifold
-His promise is sure
-His life is matchless
-His goodness is limitless
-His mercy is everlasting
-His love never changes
-His word is enough
-His grace is sufficient
-His reign is righteous
-And His yoke is easy
-And His burden is light
I wish I could describe Him to ya…

-He’s indescribable
-He’s incomprehensible
-He’s invincible
-He’s irresistible
-You can’t get Him off your mind
-You can’t out live Him
-You can’t live without Him
-The Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him
-Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him
-The witnesses couldn’t get their testimonies to agree
-Herod couldn’t kill Him
-Death couldn’t hold him
-And the grave couldn’t contain Him
That’s my King!!!
And His is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory; forever, and ever, and ever, and ever- How long is that?- And ever, and ever… And when you get through all the forever’s, then amen!

i hate my body... i really do. i hate it that i cannot find whats going on in my tummy... i hate it that im second guessing myself, and trying to act like its not there only ot find that im doubled over in pain afterwards, i hate it that i dont know. i feel like im not in controll of my body right now, and it freaks me out. but i have to remember that i am not supposed to be in controll of my body, God is. if i surrender myself to him, then i surrender my self to him. i have heard it said that faith is the curraige to accept acceptance. i think thats true.

Anna, as i was passing by the security booth thismorning, asked how i was, and i told her what happened. then she leaned her head into the window of my car and asked "josh, is God still on His throne?"

and i had to say "yes", because He is. and i need ot rest in that.

God, grant me the peace and patience to move through this world that has been created around me, and hep me to always turn to you in the midst of this.

a song of hope.

wow... its been a try week.

ill say it backwords... wow.

its funny to think about, but it just hit me earlier in chapel... life sucks sometimes. it really does.

but we still have hope.

we still are in the presence of rescue.

and my God can still kick your gods Butt!

its funny... peter says in one of his books "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..."

hope.

its still possible.

its still here.

im singing a song of hope.

sing along. :-]

this is a story 'bout a guy named al...

sitting here with a great friend, Garrett Benjamin, and friends of his p here... this is good. i love this stuff.

yay.

there was an old man named micheal finnigin...

i used to attend little lake elementary school. i was always the wierd kid, the one who would stay inside during recess and talk with the teacher, or who would be really proud to be a part of the choir and band.

yeah, i was that kid.

when i was in 4th grade, the other boys made a "no gays allowed" club, made solely for the purpose of making me feel like a loser.

i remember walking up to the cool kids, the ones i wanted to be freinds with because they were cool, and as i was running up to them they saw me coming and took off runing away from me as fast as they could. i yelled "HEY! WAIT UP!" and mitch jergensen turned around and said "this is a no gays allowed club, so you cant join".

i had no idea what he was talking about. i would guess that he didnt either.

sometimes i wonder if we've grown up at all. we call ourselves "adults" but most of the time i still feel like a kid, trapped in a grown mans body. i dont want to have the responsibility of being old. i dont want the pressure of being a "GROWN UP".

being up here at hume has been an interesting experience. working a 9 hour day, 6 days a week... it takes it out of ya, and im feeling a little burnt out. when i got back from home a few days ago everything up here was different. i had a new shift, i was working with new people, my roomates had changed... suddenly, after a long week, i come back expecting normalcy... and everything fell apart. i was now working night crew with a group of girls who treated me like i was five years old. yesterday, for instance, they thoguht my break was over (but i had 3 minutes left) and they litterally started counting "1... get back to work now... 2, NOW JOSH... im gonna say three..." and i was like... are you kidding me? really?!?!

this has been a hard week. nothing in the kitchen is working out right, and everything is crashing down on me... im starting to wonder if anything would be different if i was gone. or, better yet, if they would be better if i left.

sitting at dinner last night, i was watching all the other people hang out together and wanted to join in the conversation. but, whenever i would ask what was said, they would say "nothing", and laugh and turn away.

some times life is great and everything is all fine and dandy.

other times, i wonder if anything has really changed, and if im still the same kid that was exiled from the "no gays allowed club", living in the same world, being shut out by all the same people...

do we ever truly grow out of ourselves?

Operation Desert Storm (or, thoughts on returning from kids camp)

man.. i miss home so mch right now, its ridiculous. geting back to hume, it was a long drive, and a weird welcome back. ecerything has changd, im on a different schedual, new people all over my kitchen, and HUGE attitudes that i have to face. quite a difference from a week hanging out with elementary school kids.

its not as hot here, which is good. but i feel like everything inside of me is screaming, and nobody can hear it but me.

Johnny Foster is here, so thats been a blast having fun with him and watching him enjoy hume. i have found that watching people enjoy things gives me a type of joy that i havent really experienced before. God is definately giving me joy when im out of the lime light, which is amazing. he is so good, and He also exists outside the walls and borders of Hume. thats something that was good for me to see. i needed that refreshment.

well, im back to work. hopefully ill update a little later.

dieing to self hurts.

-Josh

why am i here?

So I was wondering what I might say, or respond to the question “why are you up here at hume lake christian camps?”

and I think the best way to respond would be to show a picture. A picture of guys who, at the beginning of the week were awkward and kinda shy around everyone, but by the end of the week were worshipping God with their whole being...

its the story of adam, a kid who on brought us fish that he wanted to freeze for his trip back to hawaii, and on the last ngiht, the night where they call for people to give their life to ministry, adam stood p in the middle of all of his friends, then looked around and looked as though he was thinking “why arent all of youstanding up too?”

its the story of the kid who came up and showed us his self-proclaimed “FACIAL HAIR” (whi turned out to be a mole that had hair growing out of it).

Its the story of the guy who kept coming up to me all week and giving me a high five or a pound, and telling me the story of how one day he ate so much cheese that he was constipated for a whole month (he tell us this as he is holding a cheeseburger that has twice the amount of cheese as it does meat)

its Garret, the lead counselor, who has had some weird medical things happen to him. Who was the wrestling champion in his home state, yet he isnt afraid to wear a giant cow-boy hat with football pads and a bright orange shirt with bright neon-green shoes to help the kids have fun.

Its Brett Wood, whos greatest joy comes from handling campers special diets, making sure they are taken care of and that nothing gets in the way of these kids hearing the Good knews of Jesus Christ.

Its in knowing that I am getting up at 5 AM tomorrow morning to feed these kids breakfast because they came and got to hear about Jesus Christ, and He is the one I am doing it for.

Thats why I am at hume.

God is here.

Come and meet him, and say hey to me along the way!

a robin knows one thing in true,
that he is not an eagle
that, though he tries, and try he might,
he'll never be a beagle.
and as he sits and flaps his wings
to soar above the people,
he see's his shadow follow behind
on all the roofs and steeples

a boy sits down & naval-gazes
staring at his wound.
he knows that, so the surgeon says,
the pain will be gone soon.
and as he falls into the clouds
of wonder, he can see
his body laying brightly and
a shadow underneath

a philosopher gazes at the stars
and on our own own his thoughts reside
images of human depravity
make scars that do not fade
a phrase from some idealist
haunts his rickety frame,
a man, one of The Followers,
who said "Maybe we can change"

as though a bolt of lightning struck,
and caused a flash of night,
a student looks up from the fire
to see the blackened sky
and as the dots of twinkling lights
begin to show, they almost say:
"The shadows prove the sunshine,
and Hope is here today".

-J. Q. 2008

getting to the point.

in the end of galations, paul writes this awesome statement in his own hand, as kind of the "wrap it up, get serius" moment of the letter. he says this:

11 Notice what large letters I use as I write these closing words in my own handwriting.
12 Those who are trying to force you to be circumcised want to look good to others. They don’t want to be persecuted for teaching that the cross of Christ alone can save. 13 And even those who advocate circumcision don’t keep the whole law themselves. They only want you to be circumcised so they can boast about it and claim you as their disciples.

14 As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross,[c] my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died. 15 It doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. 16 May God’s peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new people of God.[d]

17 From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.

18 Dear brothers and sisters,[e] may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

paul is getting serius... hes saying that you can have all the outword things you want to... it doesnt make any difference... you can follow all the religious rules and doctrines you want too... but paul says this: "What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation." he believes this so strongly that he even blesses those who understand it: living the life means your life is changed from the inside out, and the outside will come. look at verse 17, probably one of my favorite verses in the entire bible: paul writes, in his own hand: "From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus."

what scars do i have? what have i done to show a changed life? do i have any scars to show that i belong to Jesus?

mmmory.

theres this awesome story about a bishop who is counceling a woman who claims she speaks to god and he talks back.

she tells him that she can remember eveything he says.

the bishop, a little curious about whats going on, tells her "ok... the next time you talk to him, tell him to tell you the sins that i confessed last night."

she says " are you sure?"

he says " yes, ask him to tell you all of the sins i confessed last night."

she leaves, and they go abou the ir busines.

a few days later, the bishop meets the girl again, and she comes running up to him and says "hey... i asked him!" and he said "you asked him what i confessed that night? what did he say?"

she got a glisten in her eye and said "you know what... he couldnt remember"


the awesome power of God is made possible in his ability to make us new, to make dead things alive.

God is great, all the time.


now im chillin with the kids in hume-n-beans.

life is good.

heres the story of a girl...

for some reason, im really out of it right now.

just found out that the tech guys over at pondy got a giant tescela coil (spelling?)

a giant coild that shoots out bolts of electricity (commonly referred to as lightning)

i get to be the one who works it.

yay!



its a nice day here at hume, a little warm. i ust checked and my mac says its gonna be in the low 90'2 here this week.

HOT!!

no bueno... but hey, its all good.

its gonna be a great week., CCC is here for camp, a slew of new campers are here... hume SD is starting this week.

its gonna be GREAT!

"experiencing God's love in Jesus Christ means experiencing that one has been unreservedly accepted, approved and infinitely loved, that one can and should accept oneself and one's neighbor." -Walter Kaspar
[Taken from] The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, pg. 63

soo...

i have to be at work in 8 hours-ish.
YAY!

my laundry wasnt dry when i went back to get it, so im stuck in the staff lounge, BUUUUTTT....

its CHICK FLIC FRIDAY!!!

every friday the RD's of the staff put on a chick flick, and today its HOPE FLOATS!!

man... how much better can the night GET?!?!?!

oh... wait...

the people im sitting with just busted out CATCH PHRASE!!!

hope everything is going great,
life is good... eternal life is WAY better.

-Josh
"what can be said about a generation that says that jesus is dead and elvis is alive?"

The glory of His Majesty is found
inside the sleeve of the man on the corner
who sits and wonders
why this world is

the grace of His Majesty is found in
the slobbering words of neil
who sits and stares
wanting just to say hello
and will repeate it until he is understood

the love of His Majesty is found
in jaimee, who is twenty-six
and lovs to wave herhands and
see your smile.

The power of His Majesty is found
in adam, taking a stand and looking down
at his friends around him, and wonders
why they are not stnading also

the Hope of His Majesty is found
in His Citezens crying out, not for
themselves but for the sake of those
who have heard of The Love in vain,
those who have never heard

the Majesty of His Majesty is seen
in anthony, HIV+, Homosexual,
with hep. C who comes to a
bible study to ask “Does God love me?”
and comes face to face with hope.

The Heart of His Majesty is found
in the people who serve him
by serving his people above
themselves, even if it means
that self never comes.

The Peace of His Majesty is found
in caleb, who's love for people and
for God exumes all of those around
him and shows them the Love.

The Joy of His Majesty is found
in the hand of his children
reaching out for Him and also
getting dirty for those around them
wanting to only see the face of his Son.

biscuits.

im tired.

its been a wierd orning.

Caroline dropped the milk machine on her hands and she had to be taken down the hill to the hospital.

breakfast, us being down one hand and with no direction, took forever to get out... panning up egg patties and sausage patties and hashbrowns and biscuits.

it was a nightmare.

but...well... it could have been worse.

i wish i could go to disneyland right now.

really bad.

i dont know why.

theres just something about seeing 60+ middle schoo students go foward, not to accept christ into their heart, but to declare that they believe the Jesus is Lord and the God has RAISED HIM from the dead... theres just something about that that makes you feel completely and totally insignificant.

and yet, in acknowledging Jesus and his Power and GRACE, you relaise that you are significantly insignificant.

God is GREAT.

sing a song of hope, sing it out.
God of Heaven, come down.

love you all,
be the change you want to see in the world.
-Josh

so... first day of actual work and i had an interesting wake up call.

apparently, taking stuff to help you sleep when you have to get up in 6 1/2 hours produces the undeniable act of sleeping through the alarm.

my wake up call was brett (my boss, and a great friend now) standing over me saying

"Josh.... josh.... wake up... JOSH!"

it was 5:45...


i was late to work on my first day on the "JOB"

luckily, within the land of mediocrity comes the concept of grace.

or, as Relient K likes to say,
"The beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair"

hope this find all well...

Walk worthy of Grace
-J

p.s. there is really nothing quite like middle school ministry
p.s.s. I hate refried beans. (18 cans, to be precise)

the glory of double x's

theres this really cool part of camp up here... probably the most incredible non-soul changing part of hume there is...

it is commonly called the Bike Jump.

in said event, campers from each team ride their bike down the dock of the lake and ride right off the jump at the end, usually performing any combonation of tricks and/or stunts to earn points for their team.

most of them, however, overwhelmed by the combined feelings of fear, excitement and the chemical addition of adrenaline, end up letting go of the bike as soon as they go off the jump and, flailing their arms, smack flly-embarassed into the water while the MC's try to say something witty and humerous in an attempt to save these poor guys (and girls) faces.

it is a glorius thing to watch a young man hurl himself off of a jump and do an amazing trick of physics and aerodynamics, thus generating thunderous applause from the audience.

it is even better when a girl beets everyone and wins the competition.

aint life grand?

...

it was 45 degrees in the bathroom at 8:15 in the morning.

yay.

huh...

i ma so blessed and honored to be a part of this place.

i have heard some amazing stories of How GOD has worked and has hed his hand over this place for a long time. it amazes me to think that i am a part of God's story, just cooking pancakes... a lot of pancakes.

fun story:
in 1980 a man from el salvador, Jorge, decided to take his family on vacation to the US, and they really wanted to see the Giant sequoias, so they came up to kings canyon to see them. well, there was no room at the campsite up on the ridge, but the rangers told him to try this little campground down the hill by hume lake, so he came and set up camp at the campground on the side ofHume. well... this man was n alchaholic, always carried around a iceshest of beer... and he ran out up here, so he went over to the general store on Hume's Property... well, as he went in, he walked up and down the aisles trying to find the beer... not knowing the we keep it in the back for staff, he got really upset and walked outside and started to pace up and down getting more and more upset by the minute... his hands shaking from lack of alchohol.

just then two guys on there way to the general store were walking across the parking lot, Jeff and Graham. As the walked up the the g-store they saw Jorge really upset. well, these guys were on staff for Hume so the asked him what was wrong... and he told them... and ove the next few mintues they told him what the camp was about and shared the gospel with him. right then and there he accpeted Christ . they went the gift shop, baught him a bible, signed it and he left and went back to his campsite.

and the two guys went back to the g-store.

ast year, 2007, Jeff is driving up in idaho and he gts a call on his cell phone.

the man says "is this jeff bell?'

"yes"

"you dont know me, but i have a story to tell you. in 1980 you talked to a man outside of the Hume Lake General Store and lead him teh Christ."

"i did...?"

" now, you don't know it... but that man went back to el salvador and converted his whole family to the Lord, tehn he built a christian school for children to learn about JEsus... then realised that the only kids that were coming were the rich kids ho could afford it so he built another school for the poor and made it free. he then turned those schools over the churches that he had planted and built many many more schools and churches in elsalvador.

that man was my father.my name is Jorge Mallina, and My father shared the gospel with my entire family.

im Calling from Florida. I am the pastor of a church of 10,000 people here, reaching the lost for the Kingdom,
and i just wanted to call and say thank you.

thank you".

the conversation went on long into the night and the morning... but istn it awesome how those two guys who had no idea they were going to meet anyone, who were probably going to the general store for a coke or some ice cream, met a man from el Salvador and started this chain reaction that has saved THOUSANDS of people...


all because of Hume LAke.

i am so excited to be here.

God is SO GOOD!!!

love you guys,
update later.
-j

huh

so... im gettting kicked out of staff lounge.

yay.

have a great one.

update tomorrow.

-j

huh

theres this crazy thing about the Gospel of Jesus... it works through everything...

i once heard a dumb chuck norris joke that said "Jesus Walks on water, chuck norris swims through land"... and the crazy thing that hits me as i think of Gods grace and the Hope of what we go throguh: it moves through land, and water. meaning it goes through the think and thin and keeps hitting and hitting and gets down deep until it hits the very core of us and changes us from the indie out.

i think we, as people, need to be changed from the inside out, to fall in love with jesus and in suit follow his commands.

God is Good, and so is His Grace!


love you all... im going back to learn about food safety!!

YAY!

-J

man oh man

whata day

this morning got up and went to breakfast, took a ride around the lake (hich was awesome! i havent done that before!)

then i found out i was able to help out up at the Warehouse to help build the chapel sets for Hume San Diego's set... that was a lot of fun and a lot of work... chalking lines, painting, tracing stuff off of a projector, building and puting up sets... it was a good days work. at least it was productive, unlike the past 2 days :)

today all the rest of the hume staff got here, so there are a LOT of people running around this place. we had our first session of welcome as a staff, and it was great. I now understand the meaning of hume's mission and desire for students. it is awesome to see the drive that people have and to hear the stories of God's hand over hume the past years.... it has been aweosme!

i get to be a part of the opener! thats gonna be a fun experience! i am going to be backstage. they offered to let me try out but i kinda want to be backstage, not where people can see me... i dont know why... just want this summer to be me in the background. i like it, i've decided.

im listenning to the cd by the worship team up here last summer, and the line of one of there songs says "Lord, i tremble now for i'm on Holy ground" and thats how i feel.

to be in a place where so many people EVERY YEAR accept Christ, and hear about what He has done for them and to respond to that... it is just aweosome!

i am going to let this be the desire of my heart this summer, taken from the cd of the guysfrom last summer:

"And my heart sings the song that cannot be sung unless ou are near.
to know you, Lord, is the cry of my heart, ir the all of my life.
let all else fade away until all i persue is you."

peace,
-Josh

"boredom" is spelled N-O-W-O-R-K

DAY THREE OF NOT HAVING TO DO ANYTHING... I JUST GOT DONE WITH A RIDE AROUND THE LAKE.

I THINK IM GOING TO GO UP TO THE PROGRAM WAREHOUSE AND HELP BUILD SETS FOR THE HUME SAN DIEGO CAMP, OR SEE IF THEY NEED HELP IN PNDEROSA OR MEADOW.

YAY!

HOPE TODAY IS GOING GREAT!
-JOSH

I GOT A BIKE!!!!

yay!!! i just went down the hill with Kyei to Target and got a bike!


YAY!!

IM NO LONGER BI-PEDAL!!!!

(that was not a sexual inuendo)

:)

hope everything is going great!
Be Love!
-Josh

yay BREAKFAST!

i got up early enough for breakfast today!

yay!

i love the feeling of a full tummy in the morning lol.


so... Kyei got here last night, that was good... and i think that life is going to be great from now on!

i cant wait for the rest of the staff to get here and for the camps to start rollin in!

i have thought alot about descipleship and salvation the past few days... if you havent read BRennan MAnnings book "the Ragamuffin Gospel" yet, you definately should! its a great read, it'll get at you down deep and make you want to cry at times, but it really shows you the powerful message of Jesus of Nazereth, the God who ate with sinners.

anyway... ill update a little late.r

i need to see if i can go down the hill today and maybe buy some more pants :)

God is Love,
be His love today!
-Josh

a great day for nothing!

so im off for 2 WHOLE DAYS!!!  

this will be the longest time i get off for the rest of the summer, save for july when ill be going home for a week to be a counselot for our kids camp.

yay!

just did my first load of laundry, im almost done with a giant bottle of water, and im finishing Brennan Mannings Book: The Ragamuffin gospel.

hope everyone is doing great!

-Josh

Nothing you could ever do could make God love you any less.

nothing.

WIZ (or, the science of cleaning 6 ovens)

man oh man oh man... today wa a long long day! 

i cant tell you how much i love being up here! the people are great, the weather is great, and the kids are coming up here in a few days and i CAN'T WAIT!!! 

yesterday i cooked over 1000 hamburgers... my gosch... it was insane! and today i made about 200 grilled cheese sandwiches and shredded 6 potroasts... man! what a day! (not to mention i degreased 6 ovens, scraped them clean... whew!)

its  been a long day... but i feel great. its wierd how hard work can make you happy! 

:)

right now im sitting the the ever-popular Hume Staff Lounge, chillen with some peeps named natalie and asher (how cool of a name is that?) and wishing i got more food from the G-Store before they closed... im HUNGRY!! remind me to stock up on stuff tomorrow.

so i have the next 2 days off before i go crazy! i just got my schedual, i wokr monday-saturday 5:30-2:30... im so excited!

yay!

so... i think i might go hit the sack, or hunt down some food. 

God is good, all the time!

-josh

Goodmorning!

its a nice brisk morning here at Hume... it was a great start to a day... i woke up and headed off to breakfast (Camp Pancakes, YUM! :P)  then made my way out ot hte lake to read, and i was reading ecclsiastes, starting in Chapter 3... and it was perfect! it said this: 

A Time for Everything
 1 There is a time for everything, 
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
       a time for war and a time for peace.

a great way to start a summer, im glad i read that. 

I just pray, and ask you to do that same, for God to show me what he wants nfor me this summer... for me to b able to rejoice in the awesome power of God the Father and his son JEsus Christ!

the last thing i read today was in ecc. chapter 5, the very end... it says "God keeps such people so busy enjoying Life that the take no time to brood over the past."... 

how GREAT the grace of God! 

update a little later. 

-Josh

Hello, Howdy, Hola, Bounjourn, Hey!!

Just wanted to say hello, and that I'm writing from the Staff lounge of Hume Lake Christian Camps! It was an amazingly long trip up here, starting at 7:30 thismorning... we got from the 15 to the 379, but didnt see the turn off for the 58, so we ended up all the way up in bishop... yay. 

So the 6 hour drive turned into an 11 hour backtrack and drive up to hume... but finally we made it. Yay

well... im tired, and im starting work tomorrow. 

Have a great night, and Godbless!

-Josh

This is me.

There's this story in the bible where the Disciples are on the move. It's nothing special, they were a traveling ministry, so being on the move wasn't an especially unique aspect of their lives and this particular night, they happened to be out on a lake, in a boat, trying to save some part of the night by cutting across the lake before continuing on their journeys on the other side. Before they knew it a storm came up right in the middle of their crossing. The storm had to be pretty rough to have sent these guys, a good number of them  fisherman who had sailed quite a bit before (one might imagine), into a panic. They tried desperately to keep the boat afloat, pulling out bucket after bucket of water and trying desperately to save the sail and the mast of this ship that probably belonged to one of them. 

It was a crazy, crazy night for them, but the most un-believable thing to these guys wasn't the fact that they were in a storm, or even that in their minds the boat was sinking. The most un-believable thing about this particular trip was their teacher, the man that they chose to follow, the one who had all of these mystical abilities and claimed to be the Meschiach, the messiah, the true Son of God. 

He was asleep in the back of the boat. 

Sleeping right through the storm, probably tired after a long day of teaching and walking, enjoying a nap before they had to dock and get off. 

But the disciples were not happy, they were not happy at all... they run over to Jesus and push him awake and start to scream at him, amazed at his lack of concern: “DON'T YOU CARE IF WE DROWN?” 

Jesus stand up, goes to the front of the boat, sticks out his hand and says to the wind and the waves “SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!” and they did. 

And the disciples huddle in the front of the boat, and look over at him saying 

“who is this?”

as much as I don't want to, I can sympathize a lot with these guys yelling. For some reason, as soon as something starts to go wrong, I start to go crazy. I can look good on the outside for a while, but on the inside I'm having a panic attack. I find myself in that situation a lot, and almost always end up thinking to myself “ok God... where the heck are ya, cause this is ridiculous and everything is falling apart”. 

Over the past few days, I have been thinking a lot about the wholeness of the depravity of us, as people. The gravity of our hopeless state, and how easy it really is to feel totally and utterly hopeless. 

There is this thought that is going around that says God is great, and his people are the chosen ones so we must walk with upright heads, broad shoulders and eyes lifted up to the sky, looking for God in the clouds above the city. I have been shoved into this culture of “THE MIGHTY CHRISTIAN” who can smell and breathe holiness, who's greatest strength is his words and his ability to shape them into thoughts that sting the listener but don't reach his soul. Who cares about people so they will see him caring, and who loves people so those who he shows love will know that he is someone who they can rely on. 

Well, My head is often far too big and heavy with depression to be held upright most of the time, my shoulders are rounded and tired, while my eyes are so often looking straight at the ground that I forget to look up. I have trouble breathing deeply due to the surgeries that I have had, and I often cannot get a single sentence out of my mouth without having to go back and correct some dumb mistake I have made. If that is what being a good christian is, I must have something terribly wrong with me.

Too often do I see in myself and in other people around me the characteristics of death and decay that comes from self-promotion and self-idolatry, putting our own self and our agenda's in the place of God's reign and rule in our life. The term “whited sepulcher” is far to authentic a description of our lives than I would like to admit sometimes. 

Along my travels, I have heard os manny people come to bleieve that the only thing God wants out of us is for us to be “good people”, to live respectfully and to honor our elders and to turn the other way when we see something wrong and to always, ALWAYS have a smile on our faces. 

These people are those who are so quick to be the one telling others that they need to step it up, but they tend to leave the most un-touchable pieces of their heart out of the realm of their lecturing. They are good at looking ok, kept together, like they have everything handled. A one man-fully equipped band, that can play anything perfectly... for Jesus, of course. 

When I look a these people, I tend to feel like a loser. I automatically see them and want to be like them, want to have it all together because thats what Jesus would wants, right? 

Something inside of me comes up and says “see... you need to be better, see how good they look, how respectful they are... and now what are you? A failure... why do you even bother?”. 

And there it is... that simple, bone-chilling question inside of me that can turn even my greatest days into days of depression and hopelessness. When all I see around me are things I have done wrong it becomes very hard to see the truth in it all. 

So why do I bother? Why do I bother with this whole “christian” thing? Because the Jesus of the new testament, the Jesus that sits and the right hand of The Father is not sitting there holding you at arms length, saying “what a terrible thing you just did! How could you even think about doing something like that?  You call yourself a christian? why do you even bother?”. no... Jesus Christ is one who eats with prostitutes, enjoys the company of those society deems “untouchable”, He is a God who says to you “are you tired? Burnt out? Come and walk with me... learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”.

See, as long as we keep thinking like that, we will never be comfortable being ourselves around Him, we will ever be able to look at the Face of Jesus and not feel shame, because we automatically place shame on ourselves. We automatically take ourselves out of the running of being a disciple because we screwed up. 

Mark Moore, a Professor at Ozark Christian College in Joplin, MO, once said that our  greatest competition for the love of Jesus isn't the other disciples that we try to impress, nor is it the people at our church who look down on us because of our faults. Our greatest competition for the love of Jesus is ourself, its what we say about ourself: “I can't serve Jesus! Not after what i've done, not after who I am!”  All the while Jesus is saying to us “this is ME! Not the Pharisees, not judgmental people in your church, this is me.”

I think that we get so wrapped up in our own inadequacies that we forget that the God we serve is far greater than what we try to be... that He is the God unlike any other god... one who says to his people “you don't owe anything. I'm paying the price for you. You need not feel any shame anymore. 

This is me.”© 2008 Joshua Quale 

youtube...

i just got a youtube account... 

check it out at youtube.com/hopeispossible

face 2 face

as cheesy as it sounds, i think we hate to feel.

i think we hate to feel things that happen, we hate to be impacted by things, we hate anything like that because it causes us to be shaken beyond our controll sometimes. 

i think right now i am coming face to face, possibly for the first time, with the unconditional love and grace of God throguh jesus christ, and it scares me. 

a glorius morning

There's something really glorious about a new morning... a new beginning. God tells us that his grace is new with each morning... that we are made clean again with each morning, each day... its brand new. 

19 years have gone by in my life.... 

and i have a feeling that all i have to really show for it is just that: God's Grace every morning, made new. 

and yet, there are some cool things that i have noticed lately: 

like yesterday, i ran into a guy that was a middle schooler in my youth group 3 years ago, and we talked a bit and stuff, but that was really cool. 

and then i was at youth last night and i was reminded that the family that i had left is still here, warts and all :)                                              and then i went to a buddy of mines house yesterday, and they, as they always are, were just awesome. 

not to mention hearing my cell phone beep every so often in the night as people sent me text messages saying "happy birthday" and to wake up to countless comments and posts on myspace and facebook, i got to tell ya, 

i really needed that today. 

God uses things that you wouldn't even think of to impact you, you know?

be it a random trip to a gelato shop, or an invite to youth group and the person that invites you doesn't show up... I'm beginning to realize that it might be true, "...and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Thanks to all f you who are making my birthday great, and to all of you who have taught me so much this year. 

God uses us all... im beginning to realize that. :)

love you guys, 

-Josh

"Here's to the Crazy Ones.

The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers. 

The round pegs in the square holes. 

The ones who see things differently. 

They're not fond of rules. 

And they have no respect for the status quo. 

You can quote them, 

disagree with them, 

disbelieve them, 

glorify or vilify them. 

About the only thing that you can't do 

is ignore them. 

Because they change things.

 They invent. They imagine. They heal. 

They explore. They create. They inspire.

 They push the human race forward. 

Maybe they have to be crazy. 

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? 

Or, sit in silence and hear a song that hasn't been written?

Or, gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

 While some may see them as the crazy ones, 

we see genius.

 Because the ones who are crazy enough 

to think that they can change the world,

are the ones who do.

past or clean slate?

do you ever get the feeling that everything you based your life on, the... the reality that you use, the perception that is your perception suddenly fails... as if suddenly a tornado rolled through your trailer park and you are left sitting there in the aftermath, looking around trying to recreate what was there to begin with... 

in that situation, in that moment, is it better to imagine what was there? or what it would look like with all the devastation taken away? 

This is me

a fantastic poem

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard kippling

reflections on community...part. 2

what is it about getting close to someone that scares us?

isn't it funny that we are designed to live in community, designed by god to deal with life together... its all over the bible... yet, when we get close to that, we get scared... we freeze... it locks up.

is it wrong to think that we are designed to live in community? is it not possible? is the conflict good for us?


i am a firm believer that we are designed by God to live in community with others... that it is a fault of the fall of man and of our broken world that we build these barriers around us, that we push back when others push foward.

Scripture tells us that we are meant to be living life together... rick warren says in his book The purpose driven life "life is meant to be shared... god intends for us to experience life together".

Galatians tells us to "share each others troubles and problems, and in this way we obey the laws of Christ". All over the bible there are times when people come together to share burdens, to live life together. its seems funny to me how we are so consumed with becoming INDEPENDENT, when if you look at scripture, even the life of Christ, you see that life is not an independent adventure... just like a sports game, "there's no I in team".

if this is the way we are supposed to live, why is it that when we get at all close to someone, our first initial reaction is to freeze up... push away?

sometimes i underestimate the Devils handiwork... and that is definitely not a good thing.

curl up...

i often wonder if God is at all happy with the way the world is working... if he is sitting up outside of time (while he is also all around us) and he is looking around at the world and i wonder if he is shaking his head at all of the pain, or the stupidity, or the people turning their heads away from him... or if he is noticing above the bad, all of the good. all of the people who turn to praise him, all of the people who turn to give him glory above the glory of themselves, above the glory of their nation, above the glory of their family, above everything else.

it had to be a hard thing for Jesus to do... to stare blatantly at peter, who would be tray him, or to stare blatantly at Judas, who would betray him, and say "Follow me", 'cause he knew they would fall. or how hard it had to be for him to look into the eyes of the people who were calling out for him to be crucified and who were spitting on him, or kicking him, or thinking thoughts of disgust and ridicule toward him... and not get that feeling in his chest to disassociate and run away, or better yet to not call down fire from heaven and let his wrath be shown and completely destroy those who turn away from him... all the while knowing that the people who were doing these things were the very people whom he came to die for.

the very notion of Him coming to this world for the sole purpose of dieing is still unfathomable to me.

one year ago my grandfather, a great loving honest man, died suddenly of cancer in his liver and up and down his spine, leaving us, his family, in a whirlwind of aftermath. yesterday i went to the funeral of my great-grandfather, who died from complications from Alzheimer's and diabetes. today, a guy i knew in high school was killed and his twin brother was badly injured, to the point of heavy hospitalization and surgery. last week i got word that another one of the guys i knew in high school died of a drug overdose, and tonight i heard of another high schooler that took her own life last week.

and i often wonder in the middle of this... is this really what God had in mind? is this really something that god sits around and looks at and shakes his head in approval, or in apathy and just watches happen and says "oh well... they'll learn eventually"?

'cause if He is that kind of a god, i dont want to serve him. if He is really a god that just sits there and lets things happen to people like this, or sits back and watches all of the hurt in the world and apathetically says that in the end it will make sense... i dont think i can do this.


it is so easy for me to fall into a pattern like that... seeing all of the hardship and pain in the world... all of the crap and hell the people go through... Jesus wasnt kidding when he said that in this life we will have pain. life is so hard sometimes.

there are times that i dont even want to get out of bed in the morning. that i dont want to take another breath for fear of it hurting too much, that i dont want to stand up anymore for fear of being pushed over and overwhelmed by the weight of my own little world.

Me and David are reading through Romans right now, and its so funny that when paul wrote this book, he wasn't writing it in response to a letter... he hadn't even been there, but it seems like he is giving so much specific information and almost addressing concerns for the hardships of Christians and the questions that we tend to have.

In chapter 8 of his letter, after talking about how the spirit of God helps and moves in us and through us and for us, paul says this small but hugely profound phrase: he says "and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".

in all things, God works for the good of those who love him...

for the good...

its funny to see that passage and look around at the people who love God and yet still go through crap... sometimes the most un-imaginable hurt that a person can think of. and yet we have this promise, that God always, ALWAYS works for the good of those who love him... sometimes it is so hard for me to understand that... in my life i have had pain, and in the middle of it i dont want to think about how God will use this, i dont want to think about how life will be better, and how its a great thing to be in the hand of God, because in the midst of all of that... it sucks. it really really sucks, and it hurts, and all i can think about is how much i dont want to feel the pain anymore, how much i just want it to be over, how much i want this life to be done with so i can go home...

sometimes all i want to do is run to God and fall into his arms, and have him hold me... hold me while i cry, hold me while i shake with hurt and brokenness... to just hold me, bearing off the wait of the world and giving me rest... finally.

in all things, God works for the good of those who love him...

in all things...

a few chapters later, in chapter 11, a t the very end there is this passage, commonly referred to as the "doxology" ...look at what it says:

33Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
35"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"
36For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Oh the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

i think that, God right now, while looking around at the hurt and pain in the world, hurts too... because this is not what he has planned, and because his creation is hurting... his children are hurting, but he also not just sitting there like a little kid pouting... he is pouring out his spirit, giving us peace and understanding and comfort and love and joy.

see... God knows the party thats coming, when the dead are raised, when He wins, when he finishes everything and every knee bows and every tongue says that Jesus is Lord... he knows how great that will be... for he is wise and immense in knowledge... but he also cares and loves his children... with a love that never fails.

it says at the end of Romans chapter 8, one of my favorite promises of all of scripture...

"For i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor daemons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all of creation, will be able to separate us from the love of god that is in Christ, Jesus our Lord."

and the God that reigns at the end of time is the same God that says to you "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."

GAAAAHHHH!!!

im frustrated...

now.